Long time no see!

Hey everyone!  Sorry I've been neglecting this blog, I almost wrote an update a few months ago but then I felt like I didn't really have anything new to say since I stopped having to go to appointments and stuff.  But since it's been a while I thought I would post an update on my life.

So, it has been over a year since my diagnosis with Fibromatosis.  I cannot believe how fast time has gone by.  Since then I've had 3 surgeries and about a zillion doctors appointments, but now things are all settled down in the breast department.  I do have some comments on life since mastectomy and reconstruction:

I am very pleased with how everything looks.  It looks and feels better and much closer to natural than I thought possible.  That is not to say that the "foob" looks natural by any means, it really doesn't, but in clothes or even a bathing suit I don't think anyone can tell a difference, so that's cool.  I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do now, if anything.  Nipple reconstruction?  Nipple tattoo?  Artistic tattoo (maybe of a pretty flower or something)?  Nothing?  I really don't know.  My scars are still very noticeable, and I don't know if they're ever going to fade.  Unfortunately I really don't scar well.  It might be nice to have a badass tattoo instead of a big scar across the chest.  But, who knows.  I have forever to make up my mind, because I could also just leave it like this and it would be fine.  Decisions decisions.  For those thinking a big tattoo would hurt, it really wouldn't, since I have no sensation in that area.  So that's a bonus :)

Aside from the looks, I have noticed a big change that kind of bothers me.  Since the reconstruction left me with no breast tissue on the right side and a pec muscle that's not the same as it used to be, with an implant underneath, I feel a lot weaker in terms of upper body strength.  I used to be able to do at least a few pull-ups at any given time, and now I can't even do one without pain.  I used to be able to do at least 20 push-ups at a time, and now I struggle with 10.  I can barely lift the 6 or 7 pound weights that are lying around the house.  I even struggle with the 3 pounders I bought sometimes when I'm doing my Jillian Michaels workout DVD, but I just imagine it's because that DVD itself is surprisingly hard.  In terms of everyday strength, it's not something that really limits me.  Mostly when I'm exercising is when I notice it.  This is not something that I was aware would happen before my surgery, but after consulting with the breast cancer forum I have found that this is a common side effect of implant reconstruction.  I wish I had known about that before my surgery.  I'm not saying I would have changed my reconstruction method, but it would have gone into consideration.  Of all the different forms of reconstruction, what I did was probably the easiest, with the quickest recovery and the least amount of scars, which is all good.  So, I probably still would have chosen it.  Overall I'm happy with the results, but that's just something I noticed.

You all may or may not know, but I'm someone who is more at risk for skin cancer than most.  I have annual dermatology appointments, I don't even know how many moles I've had removed (okay that makes it sound like a lot, so let me count.  I think 6 over the years.)  I've had two of those moles re-excised.  One of the re-excisions happened recently.  I'm already losing track of time, I think it was like in August or something.  I don't remember when exactly, but I went in for my yearly dermatology appointment and I ended up having two moles removed.  Both were atypical, but the one on my ankle was atypical enough to need a re-excision.  So, they went back in and took the surrounding area and made sure there were no atypical cells in the margins.  Atypical does not mean cancerous, and it's not really something to worry about, but from what I understand, an atypical cell is a changing cell that may or may not become cancerous if left where it is.  So that's why they had to go back in and make sure the margins were clear.  Which, they were, no skin cancer for me.  Yay.  Thanks to my mom and my sweet Cesar for going to the re-excision with me.

Now I'm taking my hopefully last pre-req, the survey of chemistry class.  Since I have a lot of background in chemistry, it's not super overwhelming, but it is a hard class.  Especially since I really didn't feel like I knew anything about ochem after taking the two ochem classes at UCSB.  I don't even know how I passed those classes, the material was so hard for me.  This time it is a lot easier to grasp and I feel like I really understand organic chemistry, which is probably important for nursing school.  SF State apps are due in February, I'm planning on applying there and then maybe Samuel Merritt even though it is so expensive.  I hope I get into SF State, even though it would be nice to be able to stay in Sac.  SF State has a good program and it's only 6 semesters instead of like 10 or something for Samuel Merritt.  Still figuring it all out, but I'm really excited for nursing school and to be a nurse someday.

I applied for a job last week as a van driver.  I would drive people to their doctors appointments.  It has something to do with the medical field, so that's good.  I had a really good feeling about it when I applied, but I haven't heard from them yet.  I'm trying to be patient.  Aside from that I've been tutoring pretty regularly.  I tutor a 5th grader in math twice a week, and I'm going to start tutoring a high schooler in Algebra 2 once a week starting tomorrow.  I'm actually really excited about it, I was reviewing my algebra 2 to make sure I still know how to do it and it was so much fun graphing and factoring and all that good stuff.  So that should be fun, and it's nice to have some income every week.

Okay that's all for now.  Adios amigos.