Here I am, finally about at the end of my journey. Well, depending on if I do nipple reconstruction, maybe one more minor procedure after this. But tomorrow is the last time I'll be going under anesthesia, hopefully for a long time. I cannot wait for it to all be over!
I'm not excited about getting up at 5:30, going under, having drains, and recovering, but once that is all over I am so excited to be rid of this expander and be in the squishy world. I don't know what it's going to feel like to not have a softball in my chest anymore, but I've heard it just feels so much different (in a good way). Everyone on the breast cancer forum has said that they can just feel the difference right after surgery, and it's so much better, even with the pain. So yay.
The semester is over, and my classes went well; now I have a couple weeks until summer school starts. School is never-ending for me, but I love it. Hopefully I can finish my pre-reqs by July and start applying to nursing school. So exciting! I also have a trip to the castle of love in Napa for wine tasting in my near future, so another thing to look forward to.
Okie doke, I'm going to finish cleaning my room, take a shower, and plan out my outfit for tomorrow. I'm thinking the black button-up that Mom-mom got me and my bright blue sweats. Haha, so when the lady was talking to me on the phone about what to bring to surgery and stuff, she told me to wear a loose button-up shirt. "You can borrow one from your dad, or husband, or brother... just find someone with a loose button up shirt to borrow." I thought it was weird, especially since I already have plenty of loose button up shirts of my own, but also how she was giving me all these people I could ask. And now apparently I'm supposed to have a husband. Chuckle chuckle.
Okay nighty night everyone. <3 p="">
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Life is good
Busy, but good. I was planning on doing my case study tonight since it's due on Monday, but I got distracted looking up stuff about breast implants and then I decided to write a blog instead.
So, school has been crazy. Almost done with the semester, but this next week is going to be hectic with finals and assignments. Once that's all over I'll be so relieved. Then I'll have a few days to relax until my exchange surgery! I am so excited!
I had my pre-op today, and it went really well. I was getting a little nervous beforehand, like I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I had a zillion questions to ask. But I asked them and I got all my answers and I'm feeling a lot better. My PS and I are on the same page about size and projection and stuff, and I'm feeling comfortable and confident that it's going to end up looking good.
He said the surgery would probably last 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so around as long as my mastectomy (a little shorter I think, I'm not sure how long it was but I believe it was longer than 3 hours.) But anyway... OH! So I asked about the possibility of putting anti-nausea medicine in my IV this time, since I really suffered from the nausea last time, and he was saying they would do the same things as last time but that they would also put a "cocktail" of medications including anti nausea in my IV. I was confused, because they hadn't done anything last time. He said they were supposed to have given me an anti nausea pill and a patch thing for behind my ear, and they didn't do either. That would have probably made my life a heck of a lot easier after my mastectomy, because it really was not fun waking up in such an uncomfortable state. I really hope it works and that this surgery goes smoothly.
It will probably be an outpatient procedure, but there is a chance that I'll have to stay overnight again. I hope I don't, but if I do, my mom said she would stay with me :)
The bummer is, I'll have to have drains again. This time on both sides since I'm getting the implant on the other side too. I didn't think I was going to have to since they're not removing any tissue this time, but he said people drain a surprisingly high amount after this surgery, and I guess it's better to let it drain. Sigh. He said I'll have them both out within a week of the surgery, and if I don't it's because I'm doing too much. So I'll be sure to sit on the couch and not do anything as much as possible to get those drains out ASAP.
In other news, I'm finally getting the hood of my car fixed. (For those who don't know, it has been a lovely orange color for the past year or so, and the rest of my car is black.) My super awesome pal Nick helped me sand it, prime it, and paint it today. And by helped I mean he did all the work while I watched. Well, I helped with the air hose sprayer thing. And uh, moving the hood around. And provided moral support, lol. I left my hood there to dry overnight and then in the morning it shall be painted with a clear coat and then I'll have a nice pretty hood again! For now my car looks even more ghetto with no hood haha.
In other other news, my brother Chris and sister in law Zahra are walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure tomorrow in honor of me :) I feel so special.
In even more other news, my boo Nicole is finally in town! I missed her so much, I think she should just stay here ;) It sucks that she's only here for a week, but any time I get to spend with her is a good time.
Okay, I need to go to bed. I'm such a grandma. Goodnight lovelies. :)
So, school has been crazy. Almost done with the semester, but this next week is going to be hectic with finals and assignments. Once that's all over I'll be so relieved. Then I'll have a few days to relax until my exchange surgery! I am so excited!
I had my pre-op today, and it went really well. I was getting a little nervous beforehand, like I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I had a zillion questions to ask. But I asked them and I got all my answers and I'm feeling a lot better. My PS and I are on the same page about size and projection and stuff, and I'm feeling comfortable and confident that it's going to end up looking good.
He said the surgery would probably last 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so around as long as my mastectomy (a little shorter I think, I'm not sure how long it was but I believe it was longer than 3 hours.) But anyway... OH! So I asked about the possibility of putting anti-nausea medicine in my IV this time, since I really suffered from the nausea last time, and he was saying they would do the same things as last time but that they would also put a "cocktail" of medications including anti nausea in my IV. I was confused, because they hadn't done anything last time. He said they were supposed to have given me an anti nausea pill and a patch thing for behind my ear, and they didn't do either. That would have probably made my life a heck of a lot easier after my mastectomy, because it really was not fun waking up in such an uncomfortable state. I really hope it works and that this surgery goes smoothly.
It will probably be an outpatient procedure, but there is a chance that I'll have to stay overnight again. I hope I don't, but if I do, my mom said she would stay with me :)
The bummer is, I'll have to have drains again. This time on both sides since I'm getting the implant on the other side too. I didn't think I was going to have to since they're not removing any tissue this time, but he said people drain a surprisingly high amount after this surgery, and I guess it's better to let it drain. Sigh. He said I'll have them both out within a week of the surgery, and if I don't it's because I'm doing too much. So I'll be sure to sit on the couch and not do anything as much as possible to get those drains out ASAP.
In other news, I'm finally getting the hood of my car fixed. (For those who don't know, it has been a lovely orange color for the past year or so, and the rest of my car is black.) My super awesome pal Nick helped me sand it, prime it, and paint it today. And by helped I mean he did all the work while I watched. Well, I helped with the air hose sprayer thing. And uh, moving the hood around. And provided moral support, lol. I left my hood there to dry overnight and then in the morning it shall be painted with a clear coat and then I'll have a nice pretty hood again! For now my car looks even more ghetto with no hood haha.
In other other news, my brother Chris and sister in law Zahra are walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure tomorrow in honor of me :) I feel so special.
In even more other news, my boo Nicole is finally in town! I missed her so much, I think she should just stay here ;) It sucks that she's only here for a week, but any time I get to spend with her is a good time.
Okay, I need to go to bed. I'm such a grandma. Goodnight lovelies. :)
Thursday, April 4, 2013
I'm SUCH a proctastinator
I really wish I wasn't a procrastinator. I have a test in my psyc class tomorrow and I should really be studying for it but it's still only 4pm the day before. So you know how it goes. Don't worry, it's my easy class, all I have to do is skim over the 4 chapters that are covered on the test and I'll be fine. I just wish I was already done with that.
ANYWHO, for those who don't know, my next surgery is scheduled for May 23! I am so excited for that day to come. I mean, I'm not looking forward to the actual surgery and recovery part of it, but I am looking forward to having "real" implants and breasts that are basically the same size. That will be so nice. It's less than two months away! How is it already April? Sheesh, time has got to stop flying so quickly.
In other news, I have been pretty good about working out at least a few times a week, and I definitely feel better because of it. I'm pretty annoyed though. I decided to invest in a somewhat cheap heart rate monitor/calorie counter so I could know how many calories I was burning when I did exercises outside of the gym with the machines that count calories for you. I mean it wasn't super cheap, it was 50 bucks, but it was the cheapest one I saw. I used it when I did insanity one day (with Vi, she motivates me to do it on most days when I would really rather not lol), and it said I burned almost 700 calories. I believed it, because insanity is really an insane workout (hence the name). Then the next day the workout felt a little easier, but still insane. My calorie counter said I only burned like 300 something calories. It didn't seem that much easier. Then the next day was the recovery day, mostly with things like squats and lunges instead of all the jumping and stuff (but there was still some of that, too), and it said I only burned 99 calories! I was like "this can't be right." Then yesterday I went to spin class, and confirmed that it's a piece of crap. The bike said I burned like 350 calories or whatever it was, and my watch monitor thing said 220. That's a major difference. So, I'm pretty bummed and I will be returning it. Maybe I should have gone with the polar watch with the chest strap. I didn't want to have to wear a chest strap but they're probably more accurate that way. Anyone know anything about those?
Also, my boo Nicole is coming back to California in May! For a whole week! I wish it was for longer but I'm still so excited. I miss her.
I also miss Santa Barbara. I might maybe possibly make a trek down there for the Earth Day festival (Bill Nye is gonna be there! Plus it's my favorite festival.) And of course to party like a rockstar and stuff. So I think all my lovely Santa Barbara friends who don't still live there should go there that weekend too and we can all have a reunion! I'm still not sure if it's actually happening though so we shall see.
Okie I really have to study and do my homework so I can be done with it all before my insanity date with Vi, cuz then after that I have to watch American Idol. Ooh, I wonder who is going to get voted off? It's so tough, they're all so good. Okay adios amigos :)
ANYWHO, for those who don't know, my next surgery is scheduled for May 23! I am so excited for that day to come. I mean, I'm not looking forward to the actual surgery and recovery part of it, but I am looking forward to having "real" implants and breasts that are basically the same size. That will be so nice. It's less than two months away! How is it already April? Sheesh, time has got to stop flying so quickly.
In other news, I have been pretty good about working out at least a few times a week, and I definitely feel better because of it. I'm pretty annoyed though. I decided to invest in a somewhat cheap heart rate monitor/calorie counter so I could know how many calories I was burning when I did exercises outside of the gym with the machines that count calories for you. I mean it wasn't super cheap, it was 50 bucks, but it was the cheapest one I saw. I used it when I did insanity one day (with Vi, she motivates me to do it on most days when I would really rather not lol), and it said I burned almost 700 calories. I believed it, because insanity is really an insane workout (hence the name). Then the next day the workout felt a little easier, but still insane. My calorie counter said I only burned like 300 something calories. It didn't seem that much easier. Then the next day was the recovery day, mostly with things like squats and lunges instead of all the jumping and stuff (but there was still some of that, too), and it said I only burned 99 calories! I was like "this can't be right." Then yesterday I went to spin class, and confirmed that it's a piece of crap. The bike said I burned like 350 calories or whatever it was, and my watch monitor thing said 220. That's a major difference. So, I'm pretty bummed and I will be returning it. Maybe I should have gone with the polar watch with the chest strap. I didn't want to have to wear a chest strap but they're probably more accurate that way. Anyone know anything about those?
Also, my boo Nicole is coming back to California in May! For a whole week! I wish it was for longer but I'm still so excited. I miss her.
I also miss Santa Barbara. I might maybe possibly make a trek down there for the Earth Day festival (Bill Nye is gonna be there! Plus it's my favorite festival.) And of course to party like a rockstar and stuff. So I think all my lovely Santa Barbara friends who don't still live there should go there that weekend too and we can all have a reunion! I'm still not sure if it's actually happening though so we shall see.
Okie I really have to study and do my homework so I can be done with it all before my insanity date with Vi, cuz then after that I have to watch American Idol. Ooh, I wonder who is going to get voted off? It's so tough, they're all so good. Okay adios amigos :)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A little procrastination to validate the blog name
Not that it needs to be validated, everyone who has ever met me probably knows I am a procrastinator, but I couldn't think of a clever title for this update lol. So, no news about expansions obviously since I'm done with those. I do have some random things to talk about relating to my expander, though.
First, I turned 23 a few days ago! It wasn't really a milestone birthday, except that this is supposed to be my golden year. In fact I was already supposed to have my crap together by now. (Yes, Donna, I've always thought 23 was the golden age too.) It seemed like plenty of time to have it all figured out. Of course that hasn't happened, but I do feel like I'm getting there. I'm just a little behind schedule. But I still plan on making this a golden year.
For the weekend before my birthday I wanted to get some people together and go out and have fun and pretend I was turning 21. I hadn't gone clubbing in a long time, and I was really excited. I knew exactly what I wanted to wear - my black and gold and silver dress. I never wear it. I wore it to dinner on my 21st birthday, and I wore it clubbing in SB once. Whenever I wear it I get compliments on it (all two times, haha). I was excited to wear it with the slightly bigger boobage going on, and expected it to look great.
It was not looking great.
The problem is that the dress is flattering and pushes everything in. Everything, that is, except the softball attached to my chest. No matter what I did, I could not get my boobs to look even in that dress. I tried different bras, different amounts of padding, blah blah. It just wasn't working. It was pretty depressing actually. Reason #42 to hate my expander: it does not work with certain clothing. (I just picked a random number, but I'm sure I could come up with at least that many reasons why it's annoying.)
I got over it, it wasn't the end of the world. I had plenty of other outfits to choose from and I found something that worked so it's all good. Despite not being able to get into one of the clubs because of their stupid dress code not allowing one guy's shoes, I had a blast. I had my first Tokyo Tea (? is that what it was called?) and it was good! Too good. Thanks to Marissa, Nikko, Vi, and Nick for making it a great night.
My actual birthday was on Monday, and it was fun too. I went to Wasabi with my parents and Jeffrey, and my mom and I did a sake bomb with the chef while Jeffrey did a soda bomb. Good times.
Sorry my birthday story was so long, I still have another story to share. Yesterday in my anatomy and physiology lab we were doing different breathing exercises. One of them involved doing various things and then seeing how long you could hold your breath. I was nominated for my group because I'm a swimmer and swimmers are notorious for being able to hold their breath longer than average. One of the things was to work out vigorously for 2 minutes and then immediately hold your breath. So I did jumping jacks, ran in place, did push ups, jumped around, more jumping jacks, etc. For two minutes. While my group watched. It was fine at first but then suddenly I became very aware of my chest. I felt like my left side was moving and my right side was not. My left side was lower. I wondered if they could tell. I figured they probably weren't looking at my chest, and even if they were they probably didn't put that much thought into it. But I did. It wasn't a big deal, it was actually kinda funny. It's just one of those things, sometimes things remind me that I don't have a normal chest like I used to. I have never put so much thought into that area of my body as I have since this whole thing started.
I'm very open about this whole thing, as you all know. I have no problem talking about it. I just don't bring it up for no reason. So, people who have met me after my mastectomy (like the people in my lab group) don't know about it because it's never come up. It's not like I introduce myself as "Hi I'm Michelle, I only have one real boob." It seems kinda pointless. But there are times when I want to say it, just so they know. For instances such as yesterday when I wondered if they were paying attention to my chest. If they had known about my mastectomy and expansions and stuff already, then it wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
Okay I really need to do my psyc homework and go to bed. That's all for now. Happy Pi Day!
First, I turned 23 a few days ago! It wasn't really a milestone birthday, except that this is supposed to be my golden year. In fact I was already supposed to have my crap together by now. (Yes, Donna, I've always thought 23 was the golden age too.) It seemed like plenty of time to have it all figured out. Of course that hasn't happened, but I do feel like I'm getting there. I'm just a little behind schedule. But I still plan on making this a golden year.
For the weekend before my birthday I wanted to get some people together and go out and have fun and pretend I was turning 21. I hadn't gone clubbing in a long time, and I was really excited. I knew exactly what I wanted to wear - my black and gold and silver dress. I never wear it. I wore it to dinner on my 21st birthday, and I wore it clubbing in SB once. Whenever I wear it I get compliments on it (all two times, haha). I was excited to wear it with the slightly bigger boobage going on, and expected it to look great.
It was not looking great.
The problem is that the dress is flattering and pushes everything in. Everything, that is, except the softball attached to my chest. No matter what I did, I could not get my boobs to look even in that dress. I tried different bras, different amounts of padding, blah blah. It just wasn't working. It was pretty depressing actually. Reason #42 to hate my expander: it does not work with certain clothing. (I just picked a random number, but I'm sure I could come up with at least that many reasons why it's annoying.)
I got over it, it wasn't the end of the world. I had plenty of other outfits to choose from and I found something that worked so it's all good. Despite not being able to get into one of the clubs because of their stupid dress code not allowing one guy's shoes, I had a blast. I had my first Tokyo Tea (? is that what it was called?) and it was good! Too good. Thanks to Marissa, Nikko, Vi, and Nick for making it a great night.
My actual birthday was on Monday, and it was fun too. I went to Wasabi with my parents and Jeffrey, and my mom and I did a sake bomb with the chef while Jeffrey did a soda bomb. Good times.
Sorry my birthday story was so long, I still have another story to share. Yesterday in my anatomy and physiology lab we were doing different breathing exercises. One of them involved doing various things and then seeing how long you could hold your breath. I was nominated for my group because I'm a swimmer and swimmers are notorious for being able to hold their breath longer than average. One of the things was to work out vigorously for 2 minutes and then immediately hold your breath. So I did jumping jacks, ran in place, did push ups, jumped around, more jumping jacks, etc. For two minutes. While my group watched. It was fine at first but then suddenly I became very aware of my chest. I felt like my left side was moving and my right side was not. My left side was lower. I wondered if they could tell. I figured they probably weren't looking at my chest, and even if they were they probably didn't put that much thought into it. But I did. It wasn't a big deal, it was actually kinda funny. It's just one of those things, sometimes things remind me that I don't have a normal chest like I used to. I have never put so much thought into that area of my body as I have since this whole thing started.
I'm very open about this whole thing, as you all know. I have no problem talking about it. I just don't bring it up for no reason. So, people who have met me after my mastectomy (like the people in my lab group) don't know about it because it's never come up. It's not like I introduce myself as "Hi I'm Michelle, I only have one real boob." It seems kinda pointless. But there are times when I want to say it, just so they know. For instances such as yesterday when I wondered if they were paying attention to my chest. If they had known about my mastectomy and expansions and stuff already, then it wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
Okay I really need to do my psyc homework and go to bed. That's all for now. Happy Pi Day!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Done expanding! Now waiting for the exchange.
I've been putting off blogging as usual, and I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to talk about but I'm not sure if I'm going to remember it all now. We shall see.
So, my final volume is 350 cc. My PS likes to overfill, and he recommends me getting a 300 cc implant, but he said that I can go with 350 if I want. I need to decide what size I want since it's my decision, but I have time to figure it out.
Also, I'm not as certain about getting silicone as I was before. I'm still definitely leaning toward it, but I found out that the saline implant is much softer than the saline expander. So, if I did go with saline, it would not feel like a softball like I thought it would. However, silicone is even softer and closer to natural, plus it doesn't ripple all the time like saline would. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, I just need to decide which one is better for me overall. I still think silicone.
At my last appointment I asked about the possibility of me doing the Alcatraz Sharkfest after my exchange surgery, thinking the race would be in late July and my exchange is planned for May 23. He said no, that would not be enough recovery time. However, he said that if the race were about a month later he would say it was okay. I got home and looked up the dates of the different races in the series, and I realized my question didn't even matter as the Alcatraz race is in May. I might have been able to swing that, except that I haven't swam in a long time, but the race is already sold out. I did find one in Lake Tahoe in late August (I think the 25th), and it's only a mile as opposed to 1.5 miles. It seems like a much more laid back swim than Alcatraz, and I think I can do it based on what my PS said. I still have to ask him to make sure before I sign up, but I'm sure it'll be fine and I really want to do it.
The phantom itch/phantom pain continues, and I still wake up in the middle of the night almost every night, which is getting a little annoying. I'm really looking forward to the exchange, only about 3 more months!
Oh and another thing, maybe TMI but not really considering the content of my blog. It is really hard for me to shave my underarm on my right side! Like impossible! I can do it but it is not a simple task. I'm hoping that will be easier after the exchange as well.
Okay that's all for now, there might have been more that I wanted to say but I have to run, going to spin class! Oh that reminds me, I went skiing yesterday with my brother Chris, it was so much fun! But now I'm really sore and my leg is killing me from my boot on that side being too tight.
Okie adios amigos, I'll be back to say what I forgot lol. <3 p="">
So, my final volume is 350 cc. My PS likes to overfill, and he recommends me getting a 300 cc implant, but he said that I can go with 350 if I want. I need to decide what size I want since it's my decision, but I have time to figure it out.
Also, I'm not as certain about getting silicone as I was before. I'm still definitely leaning toward it, but I found out that the saline implant is much softer than the saline expander. So, if I did go with saline, it would not feel like a softball like I thought it would. However, silicone is even softer and closer to natural, plus it doesn't ripple all the time like saline would. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, I just need to decide which one is better for me overall. I still think silicone.
At my last appointment I asked about the possibility of me doing the Alcatraz Sharkfest after my exchange surgery, thinking the race would be in late July and my exchange is planned for May 23. He said no, that would not be enough recovery time. However, he said that if the race were about a month later he would say it was okay. I got home and looked up the dates of the different races in the series, and I realized my question didn't even matter as the Alcatraz race is in May. I might have been able to swing that, except that I haven't swam in a long time, but the race is already sold out. I did find one in Lake Tahoe in late August (I think the 25th), and it's only a mile as opposed to 1.5 miles. It seems like a much more laid back swim than Alcatraz, and I think I can do it based on what my PS said. I still have to ask him to make sure before I sign up, but I'm sure it'll be fine and I really want to do it.
The phantom itch/phantom pain continues, and I still wake up in the middle of the night almost every night, which is getting a little annoying. I'm really looking forward to the exchange, only about 3 more months!
Oh and another thing, maybe TMI but not really considering the content of my blog. It is really hard for me to shave my underarm on my right side! Like impossible! I can do it but it is not a simple task. I'm hoping that will be easier after the exchange as well.
Okay that's all for now, there might have been more that I wanted to say but I have to run, going to spin class! Oh that reminds me, I went skiing yesterday with my brother Chris, it was so much fun! But now I'm really sore and my leg is killing me from my boot on that side being too tight.
Okie adios amigos, I'll be back to say what I forgot lol. <3 p="">
Friday, February 15, 2013
Phantom itch, working out, etc.
Hey everyone! Hope you all had a lovely Valentine's day, mine was nice :)
I had my 6th expansion on Tuesday, putting me up to 325 cc and only one expansion away from being done. It's bittersweet for me, I'm not sad about not having the pain and soreness after each expansion (which has only been getting worse the more expanded I get), but in a way I am going to miss my weekly ritual. Everyone knows me in the plastic surgery department, I'm going to miss seeing them all the time, they're so nice and friendly. My last expansion appt is next Tuesday, and then all that are left are the little details like what kind of implant I'm gonna get. I'm almost positive I want to go with silicone, because if the saline one feels anything like this expander (which is not unlike a softball) that will bug me.
Lately I've been having this thing that I'm referring to as a phantom itch, and it's driving me crazy! I think it's pretty common, it's discussed pretty regularly on the breast cancer discussion boards and I talked to my neighbor recently and she's experienced the same thing. I get an itch on my fake breast, but I have basically no sensation there at all. So when I scratch it, I get no relief! It is so annoying! It comes off and on, I hope it stops soon but some people have said it never fully stops for them, even after the exchange.
Anyway, I've finally been getting back into working out after a long time off. I got the approval to do cardio like two weeks ago, but I never had the motivation to actually do it until last week. Since then I've gone running, played tennis (very poorly), and gone to the gym twice. I'm really going to try to stick to it, I want to get in shape again before my exchange surgery. I want to be at my goal by then. I don't really have a specific goal in terms of weight loss (I don't even know how much I weigh or how much that is affected by the super heavy feeling expander I have), I just want to feel healthy and fit. I figure if I say all this to the public then I'm more likely to actually stick to it. I'm thinking about starting to go to spin class regularly again, those things are killer! Wish me luck :)
Okay I should go, I have two tests next week. Conveniently both on the same day (Wednesday), one for microbio and one for a&p. So I should really study. Adios for now :)
I had my 6th expansion on Tuesday, putting me up to 325 cc and only one expansion away from being done. It's bittersweet for me, I'm not sad about not having the pain and soreness after each expansion (which has only been getting worse the more expanded I get), but in a way I am going to miss my weekly ritual. Everyone knows me in the plastic surgery department, I'm going to miss seeing them all the time, they're so nice and friendly. My last expansion appt is next Tuesday, and then all that are left are the little details like what kind of implant I'm gonna get. I'm almost positive I want to go with silicone, because if the saline one feels anything like this expander (which is not unlike a softball) that will bug me.
Lately I've been having this thing that I'm referring to as a phantom itch, and it's driving me crazy! I think it's pretty common, it's discussed pretty regularly on the breast cancer discussion boards and I talked to my neighbor recently and she's experienced the same thing. I get an itch on my fake breast, but I have basically no sensation there at all. So when I scratch it, I get no relief! It is so annoying! It comes off and on, I hope it stops soon but some people have said it never fully stops for them, even after the exchange.
Anyway, I've finally been getting back into working out after a long time off. I got the approval to do cardio like two weeks ago, but I never had the motivation to actually do it until last week. Since then I've gone running, played tennis (very poorly), and gone to the gym twice. I'm really going to try to stick to it, I want to get in shape again before my exchange surgery. I want to be at my goal by then. I don't really have a specific goal in terms of weight loss (I don't even know how much I weigh or how much that is affected by the super heavy feeling expander I have), I just want to feel healthy and fit. I figure if I say all this to the public then I'm more likely to actually stick to it. I'm thinking about starting to go to spin class regularly again, those things are killer! Wish me luck :)
Okay I should go, I have two tests next week. Conveniently both on the same day (Wednesday), one for microbio and one for a&p. So I should really study. Adios for now :)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Almost done expanding!
I've been terrible at updating this, I'm sorry about that. I've been keeping pretty busy which is good for me, but it makes me less inclined to post blogs regularly. My bad ;)
I've had expansions # 4 and 5! I'm up to 275, I think I only have a couple more to go. I'm about even right now, a little bigger on the fake side, but all the volume is up high so it looks weird haha. When I go in for the exchange my PS is going to make it so the implant sits lower and I'll look normal. And it won't be a rock hard expander, so yay. I'm really looking forward to the exchange. Unfortunately I have to wait until after the semester is over, because I'll have to take another two weeks off. I think I might have mentioned this in my last blog lol. My mind is all over the place.
My 4th expansion was fine, but after my 5th expansion I had some pain which is weird for me. Luckily it's subsided since then. I don't have a whole lot to complain about expander-wise, but I won't be sad when I say goodbye to it haha. I think I'll be ready for my new silicone friend. That sounded so corny. I'm trying to decide if it's too corny for me to say, but I'm thinking no. I'm such a dork.
Aside from that, I've been really busy with school and really enjoying my classes. Really. I like all of them. My psychology class is full of just-graduated-from-high-school freshmen, and most of them are really immature, but I enjoy the material. Microbio is so much fun! Especially the lab. And anatomy and physiology is as interesting as last semester, although it's a lot more work this time around. I think I'll be almost done with nursing pre-reqs after this semester, then I still want to take that EMT class so I can get some much needed clinical experience before I apply to nursing school. It's so exciting!
Anyway, I'm off to hopefully finish my psychology homework before American Idol starts, wish me luck with that. Ta ta for now. :)
Wait, before I go. I just happened to log into my breastcancer.org account, which I hadn't done for a while, and I had a message from someone else who was diagnosed with fibromatosis in the breast at around the same time I was. This is the first person I have talked to with the same thing as me! As sad of a coincidence as it is, it is really cool to have someone else who really knows what I'm going through with this super rare tumor. That was a nice thing to see. I really hope that she doesn't have to have a mastectomy like I did, but she's already had 3 lumpectomies and is looking into more surgeries. Even though some don't consider this a cancer, I don't see how you can consider it benign.
Okay, I'm really going to sign off now. Adios amigos.
I've had expansions # 4 and 5! I'm up to 275, I think I only have a couple more to go. I'm about even right now, a little bigger on the fake side, but all the volume is up high so it looks weird haha. When I go in for the exchange my PS is going to make it so the implant sits lower and I'll look normal. And it won't be a rock hard expander, so yay. I'm really looking forward to the exchange. Unfortunately I have to wait until after the semester is over, because I'll have to take another two weeks off. I think I might have mentioned this in my last blog lol. My mind is all over the place.
My 4th expansion was fine, but after my 5th expansion I had some pain which is weird for me. Luckily it's subsided since then. I don't have a whole lot to complain about expander-wise, but I won't be sad when I say goodbye to it haha. I think I'll be ready for my new silicone friend. That sounded so corny. I'm trying to decide if it's too corny for me to say, but I'm thinking no. I'm such a dork.
Aside from that, I've been really busy with school and really enjoying my classes. Really. I like all of them. My psychology class is full of just-graduated-from-high-school freshmen, and most of them are really immature, but I enjoy the material. Microbio is so much fun! Especially the lab. And anatomy and physiology is as interesting as last semester, although it's a lot more work this time around. I think I'll be almost done with nursing pre-reqs after this semester, then I still want to take that EMT class so I can get some much needed clinical experience before I apply to nursing school. It's so exciting!
Anyway, I'm off to hopefully finish my psychology homework before American Idol starts, wish me luck with that. Ta ta for now. :)
Wait, before I go. I just happened to log into my breastcancer.org account, which I hadn't done for a while, and I had a message from someone else who was diagnosed with fibromatosis in the breast at around the same time I was. This is the first person I have talked to with the same thing as me! As sad of a coincidence as it is, it is really cool to have someone else who really knows what I'm going through with this super rare tumor. That was a nice thing to see. I really hope that she doesn't have to have a mastectomy like I did, but she's already had 3 lumpectomies and is looking into more surgeries. Even though some don't consider this a cancer, I don't see how you can consider it benign.
Okay, I'm really going to sign off now. Adios amigos.
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