Hey everyone! Sorry I've been neglecting this blog, I almost wrote an update a few months ago but then I felt like I didn't really have anything new to say since I stopped having to go to appointments and stuff. But since it's been a while I thought I would post an update on my life.
So, it has been over a year since my diagnosis with Fibromatosis. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. Since then I've had 3 surgeries and about a zillion doctors appointments, but now things are all settled down in the breast department. I do have some comments on life since mastectomy and reconstruction:
I am very pleased with how everything looks. It looks and feels better and much closer to natural than I thought possible. That is not to say that the "foob" looks natural by any means, it really doesn't, but in clothes or even a bathing suit I don't think anyone can tell a difference, so that's cool. I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do now, if anything. Nipple reconstruction? Nipple tattoo? Artistic tattoo (maybe of a pretty flower or something)? Nothing? I really don't know. My scars are still very noticeable, and I don't know if they're ever going to fade. Unfortunately I really don't scar well. It might be nice to have a badass tattoo instead of a big scar across the chest. But, who knows. I have forever to make up my mind, because I could also just leave it like this and it would be fine. Decisions decisions. For those thinking a big tattoo would hurt, it really wouldn't, since I have no sensation in that area. So that's a bonus :)
Aside from the looks, I have noticed a big change that kind of bothers me. Since the reconstruction left me with no breast tissue on the right side and a pec muscle that's not the same as it used to be, with an implant underneath, I feel a lot weaker in terms of upper body strength. I used to be able to do at least a few pull-ups at any given time, and now I can't even do one without pain. I used to be able to do at least 20 push-ups at a time, and now I struggle with 10. I can barely lift the 6 or 7 pound weights that are lying around the house. I even struggle with the 3 pounders I bought sometimes when I'm doing my Jillian Michaels workout DVD, but I just imagine it's because that DVD itself is surprisingly hard. In terms of everyday strength, it's not something that really limits me. Mostly when I'm exercising is when I notice it. This is not something that I was aware would happen before my surgery, but after consulting with the breast cancer forum I have found that this is a common side effect of implant reconstruction. I wish I had known about that before my surgery. I'm not saying I would have changed my reconstruction method, but it would have gone into consideration. Of all the different forms of reconstruction, what I did was probably the easiest, with the quickest recovery and the least amount of scars, which is all good. So, I probably still would have chosen it. Overall I'm happy with the results, but that's just something I noticed.
You all may or may not know, but I'm someone who is more at risk for skin cancer than most. I have annual dermatology appointments, I don't even know how many moles I've had removed (okay that makes it sound like a lot, so let me count. I think 6 over the years.) I've had two of those moles re-excised. One of the re-excisions happened recently. I'm already losing track of time, I think it was like in August or something. I don't remember when exactly, but I went in for my yearly dermatology appointment and I ended up having two moles removed. Both were atypical, but the one on my ankle was atypical enough to need a re-excision. So, they went back in and took the surrounding area and made sure there were no atypical cells in the margins. Atypical does not mean cancerous, and it's not really something to worry about, but from what I understand, an atypical cell is a changing cell that may or may not become cancerous if left where it is. So that's why they had to go back in and make sure the margins were clear. Which, they were, no skin cancer for me. Yay. Thanks to my mom and my sweet Cesar for going to the re-excision with me.
Now I'm taking my hopefully last pre-req, the survey of chemistry class. Since I have a lot of background in chemistry, it's not super overwhelming, but it is a hard class. Especially since I really didn't feel like I knew anything about ochem after taking the two ochem classes at UCSB. I don't even know how I passed those classes, the material was so hard for me. This time it is a lot easier to grasp and I feel like I really understand organic chemistry, which is probably important for nursing school. SF State apps are due in February, I'm planning on applying there and then maybe Samuel Merritt even though it is so expensive. I hope I get into SF State, even though it would be nice to be able to stay in Sac. SF State has a good program and it's only 6 semesters instead of like 10 or something for Samuel Merritt. Still figuring it all out, but I'm really excited for nursing school and to be a nurse someday.
I applied for a job last week as a van driver. I would drive people to their doctors appointments. It has something to do with the medical field, so that's good. I had a really good feeling about it when I applied, but I haven't heard from them yet. I'm trying to be patient. Aside from that I've been tutoring pretty regularly. I tutor a 5th grader in math twice a week, and I'm going to start tutoring a high schooler in Algebra 2 once a week starting tomorrow. I'm actually really excited about it, I was reviewing my algebra 2 to make sure I still know how to do it and it was so much fun graphing and factoring and all that good stuff. So that should be fun, and it's nice to have some income every week.
Okay that's all for now. Adios amigos.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Getting back into the swing of things
I got my drains out on Friday (5/31)! Can you say OUCH? I don't know why but the removal of the right drain really hurt. But it was so worth it to feel normal again. And I don't have to wear that stupid surgical bra anymore! I'm actually not supposed to wear a bra for another 6 weeks, which I don't mind at all. Sports bras are okay as long as the band isn't too tight, and camis with shelf bras are what I think I'll wear most of the time.
I am in love with the results! To be honest, at first I was scared. I remember peeking down under the bandages early on and I looked really flat. Almost flatter than I was beforehand, which I know isn't possible, but that's what it seemed like. When I actually took off the bra and saw them for the first time, I was happy, but not over the moon. They looked a lot better than what I was expecting, but seemed a little smaller than I had hoped. I wasn't intending to look gigantic, but after going through all this I did want to be a little bigger. It seemed like I was about halfway between my old size and my desired size. However, every day they're looking better and better, and now they seem like the perfect size. When I got my drains out I tried on one of the bras that was sized to my expander (which is the size I wanted post-exchange), and it fit just right. I'm so happy.
I also look a lot more natural than I thought would be possible. In fact, if it wasn't for the missing nipple, I think its hard to tell that they're fake. And in clothes you can't tell at all, they look almost the exact same.
According to the breastcancer.org world, implants do this thing called "drop and fluff" where they do just that. They drop into place and they fluff out a little. That will be happening over the next few months, and it only looks better the more they change. I'm looking forward to the changes, since they already seem perfect as they are.
I feel really good. I'm still in my two weeks of very limited activity, but I can do things like go to the movies or out to eat now. Just no big shopping excursions or anything like that. Also now that my drains are out I can sleep normally again, and I'm back to sleeping in my bed.
*I wrote that first part a while ago, but then I never posted it. So, here I am, about 3 and a half weeks post exchange. I have another check up with my PS sometime next week, which I actually have to reschedule since it's during class time. I also have my yearly check up with my dermatologist next week, and I have to reschedule that one too. Hoping all will be well with my skin.
I started summer school last week, and it is killer! I have class from 9-11 and 12-3 Monday through Thursday, and I'm taking them at SCC so I have a bit of a commute. My classes are fun, I'm taking Public Speaking and Critical Thinking (my last two nursing pre-reqs! Except that I might have to take a combination chem class in the fall for SF State, but then I'll be done!). I hate giving speeches but the speech class is only 4 weeks. So I'm already 1/4 of the way done with that! I've already given one speech, I have another one next week and then two more after that. Then hopefully I'll magically be really good at speaking to crowds of people, lol. I'm giving my informative speech this week on breast cancer which should be interesting.
Okay I should really do my speech outline and reading and stuff. Back to the school grind. Adios!
I am in love with the results! To be honest, at first I was scared. I remember peeking down under the bandages early on and I looked really flat. Almost flatter than I was beforehand, which I know isn't possible, but that's what it seemed like. When I actually took off the bra and saw them for the first time, I was happy, but not over the moon. They looked a lot better than what I was expecting, but seemed a little smaller than I had hoped. I wasn't intending to look gigantic, but after going through all this I did want to be a little bigger. It seemed like I was about halfway between my old size and my desired size. However, every day they're looking better and better, and now they seem like the perfect size. When I got my drains out I tried on one of the bras that was sized to my expander (which is the size I wanted post-exchange), and it fit just right. I'm so happy.
I also look a lot more natural than I thought would be possible. In fact, if it wasn't for the missing nipple, I think its hard to tell that they're fake. And in clothes you can't tell at all, they look almost the exact same.
According to the breastcancer.org world, implants do this thing called "drop and fluff" where they do just that. They drop into place and they fluff out a little. That will be happening over the next few months, and it only looks better the more they change. I'm looking forward to the changes, since they already seem perfect as they are.
I feel really good. I'm still in my two weeks of very limited activity, but I can do things like go to the movies or out to eat now. Just no big shopping excursions or anything like that. Also now that my drains are out I can sleep normally again, and I'm back to sleeping in my bed.
*I wrote that first part a while ago, but then I never posted it. So, here I am, about 3 and a half weeks post exchange. I have another check up with my PS sometime next week, which I actually have to reschedule since it's during class time. I also have my yearly check up with my dermatologist next week, and I have to reschedule that one too. Hoping all will be well with my skin.
I started summer school last week, and it is killer! I have class from 9-11 and 12-3 Monday through Thursday, and I'm taking them at SCC so I have a bit of a commute. My classes are fun, I'm taking Public Speaking and Critical Thinking (my last two nursing pre-reqs! Except that I might have to take a combination chem class in the fall for SF State, but then I'll be done!). I hate giving speeches but the speech class is only 4 weeks. So I'm already 1/4 of the way done with that! I've already given one speech, I have another one next week and then two more after that. Then hopefully I'll magically be really good at speaking to crowds of people, lol. I'm giving my informative speech this week on breast cancer which should be interesting.
Okay I should really do my speech outline and reading and stuff. Back to the school grind. Adios!
Monday, May 27, 2013
No more expander!
My surgery is over! The recovery has been nowhere near as hard as after my mastectomy, but still harder than I was expecting.
First off, I have to say it's true - the relief of not having an expander was felt immediately. I had gotten so used to having it there that I forgot how uncomfortable and annoying it really was, but I can't really feel the permanent implant at all. Even with the discomfort in my left side, it is so nice not having that rock-hard feeling anymore.
I've noticed a pattern with my surgeries. Each time I go into the OR, I remember more and more. The first time, I barely even remember getting wheeled into the room. I vaguely remembered trying to slide myself over onto the operating table but even that was fuzzy and I thought it was a dream. The second surgery, I remember the trip to the OR, I remember scooting myself onto the table, I remember seeing my surgeon, and I remember coughing as they put the mask on me. The last time, I remember all that, plus I remember them telling me things to think about. I remember them saying, "think about being at the beach.. or better yet, think about finishing nursing school." I remember the really pleasant feeling as I drifted off to sleep. That was nice.
When I woke up, I forgot all that for a moment and thought I was about to start my surgery. Then I realized that it was already over. By the time I got my glasses and realized what time it was, it was 11:00, and my surgery started at 8:00. I think the surgery lasted somewhere between 2 and 2 and a half hours. I was in recovery for a short while, then I got to go home.
This time when I woke up, I did not have to deal with the nausea like last time. They were true to their word and gave me a scopolamine patch for behind my ear and a pill, and that with my IV concoction seemed to do the job of preventing nausea. They told me to take the patch off the next day if I didn't feel nauseous, or to leave it on for up to three days. I left it on for 2, then I took it off before I took my first shower because I hadn't felt nauseous. A few hours after taking it off, the nausea was back. I have been taking Zofran for that but it isn't working as well as that patch did, so I asked my doctor if I could get a prescription for that instead. I'm hoping he says yes, because nausea realllllly sucks.
What's weird is, this time around, my skin seemed to get super sensitive to everything. I got a lovely rash on my hand from the tape over my IV, so I guess I'm allergic to that or something. Also my skin was just really itchy and easily irritated at first. Another thing was that my mouth was really dry and my throat was really sore for the first couple days. I don't remember if that happened with my other surgeries, but if it did, it wasn't as bad as this time. A good thing this time around is the pain is less severe, and when I'm laying down it's usually not noticeable. Also the range of motion in both my arms seems to be perfect, I can put on a t-shirt with no problem, yay!
I have two drains this time, just like last time. The difference is, I have a drain on each side this time, which makes it impossible to sleep on my side even a little bit. Strictly back sleeping until I get these out, which will hopefully be soon. They're just a pain in the butt to always have there, and like I said, my skin is super sensitive for some reason, so they kinda hurt. And I have to wear a cami to hook them onto because having the bulb thing touch my skin is an irritant. Last time I just hooked them to my bra and it was no problem. They were still annoying, but they're a little worse this time.
Oh, so here's a funny story. On Friday afternoon, my plastic surgeon called to see how I was doing. (My breast surgeon and the recovery nurse also called to check on me, that was sweet. It was especially nice to hear from my breast surgeon, I miss her.) Anyway, so I asked him about getting my drains waterproofed, because I really didn't want to wait until Monday to take a shower. He said I could come in that day. I felt fine, so my mom and I hopped in the car to go to kaiser. (Well, more like she helped me get in and buckled me. There was no hopping on my end.)
We were barely halfway down Laguna Blvd (not far from my house at all) when I started getting really tired. The idea of driving all the way to Kaiser, walking all the way to my doctor's office, sitting in the waiting room for who knows how long (since I was a drop-in), sitting in the office, walking back, etc etc, seemed impossible. I told my mom maybe we should turn around and just do it on Monday. We almost did, but then she reminded me that Monday was a holiday so it wouldn't be until Tuesday. So I sucked it up and we powered through to Kaiser. (I just realized I went a little parentheses-crazy here, lol.)
We pulled up in front and we were really lucky because someone was just leaving one of those wheel chair things and getting into his car. So I sat in it and my mom tried to figure out how to wheel it off to the side so I could sit while she parked the car. Another lucky thing was that there was a volunteer escort right there who told us how to use it and wheeled me over to my building. He even waited with me while my mom parked. I of course felt like such a dork, wearing sweats and slippers with my drains bulging out through my sweatshirt, but oh well. I was thankful for that wheel chair, because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to walk all the way to the office and back. And I was glad that we did that, because taking a shower makes everything so much better.
Being couch-ridden is as boring as ever. Earlier today I finally started playing that Candy Crush Saga game, and I'm addicted to it. We'll see how long that lasts before I get bored and move on to something else. When I get enough energy I want to start working through my GRE test prep book which will give me something else to do. Otherwise, watching TV, doing crossword puzzles, and sleeping are the main activities.
Okay, in case you want to know, I'm gonna play Candy Crush Saga til 11, take my keflex and maybe a pain pill, turn on Friends, and go to sleep. Nighty night :)
First off, I have to say it's true - the relief of not having an expander was felt immediately. I had gotten so used to having it there that I forgot how uncomfortable and annoying it really was, but I can't really feel the permanent implant at all. Even with the discomfort in my left side, it is so nice not having that rock-hard feeling anymore.
I've noticed a pattern with my surgeries. Each time I go into the OR, I remember more and more. The first time, I barely even remember getting wheeled into the room. I vaguely remembered trying to slide myself over onto the operating table but even that was fuzzy and I thought it was a dream. The second surgery, I remember the trip to the OR, I remember scooting myself onto the table, I remember seeing my surgeon, and I remember coughing as they put the mask on me. The last time, I remember all that, plus I remember them telling me things to think about. I remember them saying, "think about being at the beach.. or better yet, think about finishing nursing school." I remember the really pleasant feeling as I drifted off to sleep. That was nice.
When I woke up, I forgot all that for a moment and thought I was about to start my surgery. Then I realized that it was already over. By the time I got my glasses and realized what time it was, it was 11:00, and my surgery started at 8:00. I think the surgery lasted somewhere between 2 and 2 and a half hours. I was in recovery for a short while, then I got to go home.
This time when I woke up, I did not have to deal with the nausea like last time. They were true to their word and gave me a scopolamine patch for behind my ear and a pill, and that with my IV concoction seemed to do the job of preventing nausea. They told me to take the patch off the next day if I didn't feel nauseous, or to leave it on for up to three days. I left it on for 2, then I took it off before I took my first shower because I hadn't felt nauseous. A few hours after taking it off, the nausea was back. I have been taking Zofran for that but it isn't working as well as that patch did, so I asked my doctor if I could get a prescription for that instead. I'm hoping he says yes, because nausea realllllly sucks.
What's weird is, this time around, my skin seemed to get super sensitive to everything. I got a lovely rash on my hand from the tape over my IV, so I guess I'm allergic to that or something. Also my skin was just really itchy and easily irritated at first. Another thing was that my mouth was really dry and my throat was really sore for the first couple days. I don't remember if that happened with my other surgeries, but if it did, it wasn't as bad as this time. A good thing this time around is the pain is less severe, and when I'm laying down it's usually not noticeable. Also the range of motion in both my arms seems to be perfect, I can put on a t-shirt with no problem, yay!
I have two drains this time, just like last time. The difference is, I have a drain on each side this time, which makes it impossible to sleep on my side even a little bit. Strictly back sleeping until I get these out, which will hopefully be soon. They're just a pain in the butt to always have there, and like I said, my skin is super sensitive for some reason, so they kinda hurt. And I have to wear a cami to hook them onto because having the bulb thing touch my skin is an irritant. Last time I just hooked them to my bra and it was no problem. They were still annoying, but they're a little worse this time.
Oh, so here's a funny story. On Friday afternoon, my plastic surgeon called to see how I was doing. (My breast surgeon and the recovery nurse also called to check on me, that was sweet. It was especially nice to hear from my breast surgeon, I miss her.) Anyway, so I asked him about getting my drains waterproofed, because I really didn't want to wait until Monday to take a shower. He said I could come in that day. I felt fine, so my mom and I hopped in the car to go to kaiser. (Well, more like she helped me get in and buckled me. There was no hopping on my end.)
We were barely halfway down Laguna Blvd (not far from my house at all) when I started getting really tired. The idea of driving all the way to Kaiser, walking all the way to my doctor's office, sitting in the waiting room for who knows how long (since I was a drop-in), sitting in the office, walking back, etc etc, seemed impossible. I told my mom maybe we should turn around and just do it on Monday. We almost did, but then she reminded me that Monday was a holiday so it wouldn't be until Tuesday. So I sucked it up and we powered through to Kaiser. (I just realized I went a little parentheses-crazy here, lol.)
We pulled up in front and we were really lucky because someone was just leaving one of those wheel chair things and getting into his car. So I sat in it and my mom tried to figure out how to wheel it off to the side so I could sit while she parked the car. Another lucky thing was that there was a volunteer escort right there who told us how to use it and wheeled me over to my building. He even waited with me while my mom parked. I of course felt like such a dork, wearing sweats and slippers with my drains bulging out through my sweatshirt, but oh well. I was thankful for that wheel chair, because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to walk all the way to the office and back. And I was glad that we did that, because taking a shower makes everything so much better.
Being couch-ridden is as boring as ever. Earlier today I finally started playing that Candy Crush Saga game, and I'm addicted to it. We'll see how long that lasts before I get bored and move on to something else. When I get enough energy I want to start working through my GRE test prep book which will give me something else to do. Otherwise, watching TV, doing crossword puzzles, and sleeping are the main activities.
Okay, in case you want to know, I'm gonna play Candy Crush Saga til 11, take my keflex and maybe a pain pill, turn on Friends, and go to sleep. Nighty night :)
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Squishy thoughts
Here I am, finally about at the end of my journey. Well, depending on if I do nipple reconstruction, maybe one more minor procedure after this. But tomorrow is the last time I'll be going under anesthesia, hopefully for a long time. I cannot wait for it to all be over!
I'm not excited about getting up at 5:30, going under, having drains, and recovering, but once that is all over I am so excited to be rid of this expander and be in the squishy world. I don't know what it's going to feel like to not have a softball in my chest anymore, but I've heard it just feels so much different (in a good way). Everyone on the breast cancer forum has said that they can just feel the difference right after surgery, and it's so much better, even with the pain. So yay.
The semester is over, and my classes went well; now I have a couple weeks until summer school starts. School is never-ending for me, but I love it. Hopefully I can finish my pre-reqs by July and start applying to nursing school. So exciting! I also have a trip to the castle of love in Napa for wine tasting in my near future, so another thing to look forward to.
Okie doke, I'm going to finish cleaning my room, take a shower, and plan out my outfit for tomorrow. I'm thinking the black button-up that Mom-mom got me and my bright blue sweats. Haha, so when the lady was talking to me on the phone about what to bring to surgery and stuff, she told me to wear a loose button-up shirt. "You can borrow one from your dad, or husband, or brother... just find someone with a loose button up shirt to borrow." I thought it was weird, especially since I already have plenty of loose button up shirts of my own, but also how she was giving me all these people I could ask. And now apparently I'm supposed to have a husband. Chuckle chuckle.
Okay nighty night everyone. <3 p="">
I'm not excited about getting up at 5:30, going under, having drains, and recovering, but once that is all over I am so excited to be rid of this expander and be in the squishy world. I don't know what it's going to feel like to not have a softball in my chest anymore, but I've heard it just feels so much different (in a good way). Everyone on the breast cancer forum has said that they can just feel the difference right after surgery, and it's so much better, even with the pain. So yay.
The semester is over, and my classes went well; now I have a couple weeks until summer school starts. School is never-ending for me, but I love it. Hopefully I can finish my pre-reqs by July and start applying to nursing school. So exciting! I also have a trip to the castle of love in Napa for wine tasting in my near future, so another thing to look forward to.
Okie doke, I'm going to finish cleaning my room, take a shower, and plan out my outfit for tomorrow. I'm thinking the black button-up that Mom-mom got me and my bright blue sweats. Haha, so when the lady was talking to me on the phone about what to bring to surgery and stuff, she told me to wear a loose button-up shirt. "You can borrow one from your dad, or husband, or brother... just find someone with a loose button up shirt to borrow." I thought it was weird, especially since I already have plenty of loose button up shirts of my own, but also how she was giving me all these people I could ask. And now apparently I'm supposed to have a husband. Chuckle chuckle.
Okay nighty night everyone. <3 p="">
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Life is good
Busy, but good. I was planning on doing my case study tonight since it's due on Monday, but I got distracted looking up stuff about breast implants and then I decided to write a blog instead.
So, school has been crazy. Almost done with the semester, but this next week is going to be hectic with finals and assignments. Once that's all over I'll be so relieved. Then I'll have a few days to relax until my exchange surgery! I am so excited!
I had my pre-op today, and it went really well. I was getting a little nervous beforehand, like I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I had a zillion questions to ask. But I asked them and I got all my answers and I'm feeling a lot better. My PS and I are on the same page about size and projection and stuff, and I'm feeling comfortable and confident that it's going to end up looking good.
He said the surgery would probably last 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so around as long as my mastectomy (a little shorter I think, I'm not sure how long it was but I believe it was longer than 3 hours.) But anyway... OH! So I asked about the possibility of putting anti-nausea medicine in my IV this time, since I really suffered from the nausea last time, and he was saying they would do the same things as last time but that they would also put a "cocktail" of medications including anti nausea in my IV. I was confused, because they hadn't done anything last time. He said they were supposed to have given me an anti nausea pill and a patch thing for behind my ear, and they didn't do either. That would have probably made my life a heck of a lot easier after my mastectomy, because it really was not fun waking up in such an uncomfortable state. I really hope it works and that this surgery goes smoothly.
It will probably be an outpatient procedure, but there is a chance that I'll have to stay overnight again. I hope I don't, but if I do, my mom said she would stay with me :)
The bummer is, I'll have to have drains again. This time on both sides since I'm getting the implant on the other side too. I didn't think I was going to have to since they're not removing any tissue this time, but he said people drain a surprisingly high amount after this surgery, and I guess it's better to let it drain. Sigh. He said I'll have them both out within a week of the surgery, and if I don't it's because I'm doing too much. So I'll be sure to sit on the couch and not do anything as much as possible to get those drains out ASAP.
In other news, I'm finally getting the hood of my car fixed. (For those who don't know, it has been a lovely orange color for the past year or so, and the rest of my car is black.) My super awesome pal Nick helped me sand it, prime it, and paint it today. And by helped I mean he did all the work while I watched. Well, I helped with the air hose sprayer thing. And uh, moving the hood around. And provided moral support, lol. I left my hood there to dry overnight and then in the morning it shall be painted with a clear coat and then I'll have a nice pretty hood again! For now my car looks even more ghetto with no hood haha.
In other other news, my brother Chris and sister in law Zahra are walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure tomorrow in honor of me :) I feel so special.
In even more other news, my boo Nicole is finally in town! I missed her so much, I think she should just stay here ;) It sucks that she's only here for a week, but any time I get to spend with her is a good time.
Okay, I need to go to bed. I'm such a grandma. Goodnight lovelies. :)
So, school has been crazy. Almost done with the semester, but this next week is going to be hectic with finals and assignments. Once that's all over I'll be so relieved. Then I'll have a few days to relax until my exchange surgery! I am so excited!
I had my pre-op today, and it went really well. I was getting a little nervous beforehand, like I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I had a zillion questions to ask. But I asked them and I got all my answers and I'm feeling a lot better. My PS and I are on the same page about size and projection and stuff, and I'm feeling comfortable and confident that it's going to end up looking good.
He said the surgery would probably last 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so around as long as my mastectomy (a little shorter I think, I'm not sure how long it was but I believe it was longer than 3 hours.) But anyway... OH! So I asked about the possibility of putting anti-nausea medicine in my IV this time, since I really suffered from the nausea last time, and he was saying they would do the same things as last time but that they would also put a "cocktail" of medications including anti nausea in my IV. I was confused, because they hadn't done anything last time. He said they were supposed to have given me an anti nausea pill and a patch thing for behind my ear, and they didn't do either. That would have probably made my life a heck of a lot easier after my mastectomy, because it really was not fun waking up in such an uncomfortable state. I really hope it works and that this surgery goes smoothly.
It will probably be an outpatient procedure, but there is a chance that I'll have to stay overnight again. I hope I don't, but if I do, my mom said she would stay with me :)
The bummer is, I'll have to have drains again. This time on both sides since I'm getting the implant on the other side too. I didn't think I was going to have to since they're not removing any tissue this time, but he said people drain a surprisingly high amount after this surgery, and I guess it's better to let it drain. Sigh. He said I'll have them both out within a week of the surgery, and if I don't it's because I'm doing too much. So I'll be sure to sit on the couch and not do anything as much as possible to get those drains out ASAP.
In other news, I'm finally getting the hood of my car fixed. (For those who don't know, it has been a lovely orange color for the past year or so, and the rest of my car is black.) My super awesome pal Nick helped me sand it, prime it, and paint it today. And by helped I mean he did all the work while I watched. Well, I helped with the air hose sprayer thing. And uh, moving the hood around. And provided moral support, lol. I left my hood there to dry overnight and then in the morning it shall be painted with a clear coat and then I'll have a nice pretty hood again! For now my car looks even more ghetto with no hood haha.
In other other news, my brother Chris and sister in law Zahra are walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure tomorrow in honor of me :) I feel so special.
In even more other news, my boo Nicole is finally in town! I missed her so much, I think she should just stay here ;) It sucks that she's only here for a week, but any time I get to spend with her is a good time.
Okay, I need to go to bed. I'm such a grandma. Goodnight lovelies. :)
Thursday, April 4, 2013
I'm SUCH a proctastinator
I really wish I wasn't a procrastinator. I have a test in my psyc class tomorrow and I should really be studying for it but it's still only 4pm the day before. So you know how it goes. Don't worry, it's my easy class, all I have to do is skim over the 4 chapters that are covered on the test and I'll be fine. I just wish I was already done with that.
ANYWHO, for those who don't know, my next surgery is scheduled for May 23! I am so excited for that day to come. I mean, I'm not looking forward to the actual surgery and recovery part of it, but I am looking forward to having "real" implants and breasts that are basically the same size. That will be so nice. It's less than two months away! How is it already April? Sheesh, time has got to stop flying so quickly.
In other news, I have been pretty good about working out at least a few times a week, and I definitely feel better because of it. I'm pretty annoyed though. I decided to invest in a somewhat cheap heart rate monitor/calorie counter so I could know how many calories I was burning when I did exercises outside of the gym with the machines that count calories for you. I mean it wasn't super cheap, it was 50 bucks, but it was the cheapest one I saw. I used it when I did insanity one day (with Vi, she motivates me to do it on most days when I would really rather not lol), and it said I burned almost 700 calories. I believed it, because insanity is really an insane workout (hence the name). Then the next day the workout felt a little easier, but still insane. My calorie counter said I only burned like 300 something calories. It didn't seem that much easier. Then the next day was the recovery day, mostly with things like squats and lunges instead of all the jumping and stuff (but there was still some of that, too), and it said I only burned 99 calories! I was like "this can't be right." Then yesterday I went to spin class, and confirmed that it's a piece of crap. The bike said I burned like 350 calories or whatever it was, and my watch monitor thing said 220. That's a major difference. So, I'm pretty bummed and I will be returning it. Maybe I should have gone with the polar watch with the chest strap. I didn't want to have to wear a chest strap but they're probably more accurate that way. Anyone know anything about those?
Also, my boo Nicole is coming back to California in May! For a whole week! I wish it was for longer but I'm still so excited. I miss her.
I also miss Santa Barbara. I might maybe possibly make a trek down there for the Earth Day festival (Bill Nye is gonna be there! Plus it's my favorite festival.) And of course to party like a rockstar and stuff. So I think all my lovely Santa Barbara friends who don't still live there should go there that weekend too and we can all have a reunion! I'm still not sure if it's actually happening though so we shall see.
Okie I really have to study and do my homework so I can be done with it all before my insanity date with Vi, cuz then after that I have to watch American Idol. Ooh, I wonder who is going to get voted off? It's so tough, they're all so good. Okay adios amigos :)
ANYWHO, for those who don't know, my next surgery is scheduled for May 23! I am so excited for that day to come. I mean, I'm not looking forward to the actual surgery and recovery part of it, but I am looking forward to having "real" implants and breasts that are basically the same size. That will be so nice. It's less than two months away! How is it already April? Sheesh, time has got to stop flying so quickly.
In other news, I have been pretty good about working out at least a few times a week, and I definitely feel better because of it. I'm pretty annoyed though. I decided to invest in a somewhat cheap heart rate monitor/calorie counter so I could know how many calories I was burning when I did exercises outside of the gym with the machines that count calories for you. I mean it wasn't super cheap, it was 50 bucks, but it was the cheapest one I saw. I used it when I did insanity one day (with Vi, she motivates me to do it on most days when I would really rather not lol), and it said I burned almost 700 calories. I believed it, because insanity is really an insane workout (hence the name). Then the next day the workout felt a little easier, but still insane. My calorie counter said I only burned like 300 something calories. It didn't seem that much easier. Then the next day was the recovery day, mostly with things like squats and lunges instead of all the jumping and stuff (but there was still some of that, too), and it said I only burned 99 calories! I was like "this can't be right." Then yesterday I went to spin class, and confirmed that it's a piece of crap. The bike said I burned like 350 calories or whatever it was, and my watch monitor thing said 220. That's a major difference. So, I'm pretty bummed and I will be returning it. Maybe I should have gone with the polar watch with the chest strap. I didn't want to have to wear a chest strap but they're probably more accurate that way. Anyone know anything about those?
Also, my boo Nicole is coming back to California in May! For a whole week! I wish it was for longer but I'm still so excited. I miss her.
I also miss Santa Barbara. I might maybe possibly make a trek down there for the Earth Day festival (Bill Nye is gonna be there! Plus it's my favorite festival.) And of course to party like a rockstar and stuff. So I think all my lovely Santa Barbara friends who don't still live there should go there that weekend too and we can all have a reunion! I'm still not sure if it's actually happening though so we shall see.
Okie I really have to study and do my homework so I can be done with it all before my insanity date with Vi, cuz then after that I have to watch American Idol. Ooh, I wonder who is going to get voted off? It's so tough, they're all so good. Okay adios amigos :)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A little procrastination to validate the blog name
Not that it needs to be validated, everyone who has ever met me probably knows I am a procrastinator, but I couldn't think of a clever title for this update lol. So, no news about expansions obviously since I'm done with those. I do have some random things to talk about relating to my expander, though.
First, I turned 23 a few days ago! It wasn't really a milestone birthday, except that this is supposed to be my golden year. In fact I was already supposed to have my crap together by now. (Yes, Donna, I've always thought 23 was the golden age too.) It seemed like plenty of time to have it all figured out. Of course that hasn't happened, but I do feel like I'm getting there. I'm just a little behind schedule. But I still plan on making this a golden year.
For the weekend before my birthday I wanted to get some people together and go out and have fun and pretend I was turning 21. I hadn't gone clubbing in a long time, and I was really excited. I knew exactly what I wanted to wear - my black and gold and silver dress. I never wear it. I wore it to dinner on my 21st birthday, and I wore it clubbing in SB once. Whenever I wear it I get compliments on it (all two times, haha). I was excited to wear it with the slightly bigger boobage going on, and expected it to look great.
It was not looking great.
The problem is that the dress is flattering and pushes everything in. Everything, that is, except the softball attached to my chest. No matter what I did, I could not get my boobs to look even in that dress. I tried different bras, different amounts of padding, blah blah. It just wasn't working. It was pretty depressing actually. Reason #42 to hate my expander: it does not work with certain clothing. (I just picked a random number, but I'm sure I could come up with at least that many reasons why it's annoying.)
I got over it, it wasn't the end of the world. I had plenty of other outfits to choose from and I found something that worked so it's all good. Despite not being able to get into one of the clubs because of their stupid dress code not allowing one guy's shoes, I had a blast. I had my first Tokyo Tea (? is that what it was called?) and it was good! Too good. Thanks to Marissa, Nikko, Vi, and Nick for making it a great night.
My actual birthday was on Monday, and it was fun too. I went to Wasabi with my parents and Jeffrey, and my mom and I did a sake bomb with the chef while Jeffrey did a soda bomb. Good times.
Sorry my birthday story was so long, I still have another story to share. Yesterday in my anatomy and physiology lab we were doing different breathing exercises. One of them involved doing various things and then seeing how long you could hold your breath. I was nominated for my group because I'm a swimmer and swimmers are notorious for being able to hold their breath longer than average. One of the things was to work out vigorously for 2 minutes and then immediately hold your breath. So I did jumping jacks, ran in place, did push ups, jumped around, more jumping jacks, etc. For two minutes. While my group watched. It was fine at first but then suddenly I became very aware of my chest. I felt like my left side was moving and my right side was not. My left side was lower. I wondered if they could tell. I figured they probably weren't looking at my chest, and even if they were they probably didn't put that much thought into it. But I did. It wasn't a big deal, it was actually kinda funny. It's just one of those things, sometimes things remind me that I don't have a normal chest like I used to. I have never put so much thought into that area of my body as I have since this whole thing started.
I'm very open about this whole thing, as you all know. I have no problem talking about it. I just don't bring it up for no reason. So, people who have met me after my mastectomy (like the people in my lab group) don't know about it because it's never come up. It's not like I introduce myself as "Hi I'm Michelle, I only have one real boob." It seems kinda pointless. But there are times when I want to say it, just so they know. For instances such as yesterday when I wondered if they were paying attention to my chest. If they had known about my mastectomy and expansions and stuff already, then it wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
Okay I really need to do my psyc homework and go to bed. That's all for now. Happy Pi Day!
First, I turned 23 a few days ago! It wasn't really a milestone birthday, except that this is supposed to be my golden year. In fact I was already supposed to have my crap together by now. (Yes, Donna, I've always thought 23 was the golden age too.) It seemed like plenty of time to have it all figured out. Of course that hasn't happened, but I do feel like I'm getting there. I'm just a little behind schedule. But I still plan on making this a golden year.
For the weekend before my birthday I wanted to get some people together and go out and have fun and pretend I was turning 21. I hadn't gone clubbing in a long time, and I was really excited. I knew exactly what I wanted to wear - my black and gold and silver dress. I never wear it. I wore it to dinner on my 21st birthday, and I wore it clubbing in SB once. Whenever I wear it I get compliments on it (all two times, haha). I was excited to wear it with the slightly bigger boobage going on, and expected it to look great.
It was not looking great.
The problem is that the dress is flattering and pushes everything in. Everything, that is, except the softball attached to my chest. No matter what I did, I could not get my boobs to look even in that dress. I tried different bras, different amounts of padding, blah blah. It just wasn't working. It was pretty depressing actually. Reason #42 to hate my expander: it does not work with certain clothing. (I just picked a random number, but I'm sure I could come up with at least that many reasons why it's annoying.)
I got over it, it wasn't the end of the world. I had plenty of other outfits to choose from and I found something that worked so it's all good. Despite not being able to get into one of the clubs because of their stupid dress code not allowing one guy's shoes, I had a blast. I had my first Tokyo Tea (? is that what it was called?) and it was good! Too good. Thanks to Marissa, Nikko, Vi, and Nick for making it a great night.
My actual birthday was on Monday, and it was fun too. I went to Wasabi with my parents and Jeffrey, and my mom and I did a sake bomb with the chef while Jeffrey did a soda bomb. Good times.
Sorry my birthday story was so long, I still have another story to share. Yesterday in my anatomy and physiology lab we were doing different breathing exercises. One of them involved doing various things and then seeing how long you could hold your breath. I was nominated for my group because I'm a swimmer and swimmers are notorious for being able to hold their breath longer than average. One of the things was to work out vigorously for 2 minutes and then immediately hold your breath. So I did jumping jacks, ran in place, did push ups, jumped around, more jumping jacks, etc. For two minutes. While my group watched. It was fine at first but then suddenly I became very aware of my chest. I felt like my left side was moving and my right side was not. My left side was lower. I wondered if they could tell. I figured they probably weren't looking at my chest, and even if they were they probably didn't put that much thought into it. But I did. It wasn't a big deal, it was actually kinda funny. It's just one of those things, sometimes things remind me that I don't have a normal chest like I used to. I have never put so much thought into that area of my body as I have since this whole thing started.
I'm very open about this whole thing, as you all know. I have no problem talking about it. I just don't bring it up for no reason. So, people who have met me after my mastectomy (like the people in my lab group) don't know about it because it's never come up. It's not like I introduce myself as "Hi I'm Michelle, I only have one real boob." It seems kinda pointless. But there are times when I want to say it, just so they know. For instances such as yesterday when I wondered if they were paying attention to my chest. If they had known about my mastectomy and expansions and stuff already, then it wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
Okay I really need to do my psyc homework and go to bed. That's all for now. Happy Pi Day!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Done expanding! Now waiting for the exchange.
I've been putting off blogging as usual, and I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to talk about but I'm not sure if I'm going to remember it all now. We shall see.
So, my final volume is 350 cc. My PS likes to overfill, and he recommends me getting a 300 cc implant, but he said that I can go with 350 if I want. I need to decide what size I want since it's my decision, but I have time to figure it out.
Also, I'm not as certain about getting silicone as I was before. I'm still definitely leaning toward it, but I found out that the saline implant is much softer than the saline expander. So, if I did go with saline, it would not feel like a softball like I thought it would. However, silicone is even softer and closer to natural, plus it doesn't ripple all the time like saline would. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, I just need to decide which one is better for me overall. I still think silicone.
At my last appointment I asked about the possibility of me doing the Alcatraz Sharkfest after my exchange surgery, thinking the race would be in late July and my exchange is planned for May 23. He said no, that would not be enough recovery time. However, he said that if the race were about a month later he would say it was okay. I got home and looked up the dates of the different races in the series, and I realized my question didn't even matter as the Alcatraz race is in May. I might have been able to swing that, except that I haven't swam in a long time, but the race is already sold out. I did find one in Lake Tahoe in late August (I think the 25th), and it's only a mile as opposed to 1.5 miles. It seems like a much more laid back swim than Alcatraz, and I think I can do it based on what my PS said. I still have to ask him to make sure before I sign up, but I'm sure it'll be fine and I really want to do it.
The phantom itch/phantom pain continues, and I still wake up in the middle of the night almost every night, which is getting a little annoying. I'm really looking forward to the exchange, only about 3 more months!
Oh and another thing, maybe TMI but not really considering the content of my blog. It is really hard for me to shave my underarm on my right side! Like impossible! I can do it but it is not a simple task. I'm hoping that will be easier after the exchange as well.
Okay that's all for now, there might have been more that I wanted to say but I have to run, going to spin class! Oh that reminds me, I went skiing yesterday with my brother Chris, it was so much fun! But now I'm really sore and my leg is killing me from my boot on that side being too tight.
Okie adios amigos, I'll be back to say what I forgot lol. <3 p="">
So, my final volume is 350 cc. My PS likes to overfill, and he recommends me getting a 300 cc implant, but he said that I can go with 350 if I want. I need to decide what size I want since it's my decision, but I have time to figure it out.
Also, I'm not as certain about getting silicone as I was before. I'm still definitely leaning toward it, but I found out that the saline implant is much softer than the saline expander. So, if I did go with saline, it would not feel like a softball like I thought it would. However, silicone is even softer and closer to natural, plus it doesn't ripple all the time like saline would. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, I just need to decide which one is better for me overall. I still think silicone.
At my last appointment I asked about the possibility of me doing the Alcatraz Sharkfest after my exchange surgery, thinking the race would be in late July and my exchange is planned for May 23. He said no, that would not be enough recovery time. However, he said that if the race were about a month later he would say it was okay. I got home and looked up the dates of the different races in the series, and I realized my question didn't even matter as the Alcatraz race is in May. I might have been able to swing that, except that I haven't swam in a long time, but the race is already sold out. I did find one in Lake Tahoe in late August (I think the 25th), and it's only a mile as opposed to 1.5 miles. It seems like a much more laid back swim than Alcatraz, and I think I can do it based on what my PS said. I still have to ask him to make sure before I sign up, but I'm sure it'll be fine and I really want to do it.
The phantom itch/phantom pain continues, and I still wake up in the middle of the night almost every night, which is getting a little annoying. I'm really looking forward to the exchange, only about 3 more months!
Oh and another thing, maybe TMI but not really considering the content of my blog. It is really hard for me to shave my underarm on my right side! Like impossible! I can do it but it is not a simple task. I'm hoping that will be easier after the exchange as well.
Okay that's all for now, there might have been more that I wanted to say but I have to run, going to spin class! Oh that reminds me, I went skiing yesterday with my brother Chris, it was so much fun! But now I'm really sore and my leg is killing me from my boot on that side being too tight.
Okie adios amigos, I'll be back to say what I forgot lol. <3 p="">
Friday, February 15, 2013
Phantom itch, working out, etc.
Hey everyone! Hope you all had a lovely Valentine's day, mine was nice :)
I had my 6th expansion on Tuesday, putting me up to 325 cc and only one expansion away from being done. It's bittersweet for me, I'm not sad about not having the pain and soreness after each expansion (which has only been getting worse the more expanded I get), but in a way I am going to miss my weekly ritual. Everyone knows me in the plastic surgery department, I'm going to miss seeing them all the time, they're so nice and friendly. My last expansion appt is next Tuesday, and then all that are left are the little details like what kind of implant I'm gonna get. I'm almost positive I want to go with silicone, because if the saline one feels anything like this expander (which is not unlike a softball) that will bug me.
Lately I've been having this thing that I'm referring to as a phantom itch, and it's driving me crazy! I think it's pretty common, it's discussed pretty regularly on the breast cancer discussion boards and I talked to my neighbor recently and she's experienced the same thing. I get an itch on my fake breast, but I have basically no sensation there at all. So when I scratch it, I get no relief! It is so annoying! It comes off and on, I hope it stops soon but some people have said it never fully stops for them, even after the exchange.
Anyway, I've finally been getting back into working out after a long time off. I got the approval to do cardio like two weeks ago, but I never had the motivation to actually do it until last week. Since then I've gone running, played tennis (very poorly), and gone to the gym twice. I'm really going to try to stick to it, I want to get in shape again before my exchange surgery. I want to be at my goal by then. I don't really have a specific goal in terms of weight loss (I don't even know how much I weigh or how much that is affected by the super heavy feeling expander I have), I just want to feel healthy and fit. I figure if I say all this to the public then I'm more likely to actually stick to it. I'm thinking about starting to go to spin class regularly again, those things are killer! Wish me luck :)
Okay I should go, I have two tests next week. Conveniently both on the same day (Wednesday), one for microbio and one for a&p. So I should really study. Adios for now :)
I had my 6th expansion on Tuesday, putting me up to 325 cc and only one expansion away from being done. It's bittersweet for me, I'm not sad about not having the pain and soreness after each expansion (which has only been getting worse the more expanded I get), but in a way I am going to miss my weekly ritual. Everyone knows me in the plastic surgery department, I'm going to miss seeing them all the time, they're so nice and friendly. My last expansion appt is next Tuesday, and then all that are left are the little details like what kind of implant I'm gonna get. I'm almost positive I want to go with silicone, because if the saline one feels anything like this expander (which is not unlike a softball) that will bug me.
Lately I've been having this thing that I'm referring to as a phantom itch, and it's driving me crazy! I think it's pretty common, it's discussed pretty regularly on the breast cancer discussion boards and I talked to my neighbor recently and she's experienced the same thing. I get an itch on my fake breast, but I have basically no sensation there at all. So when I scratch it, I get no relief! It is so annoying! It comes off and on, I hope it stops soon but some people have said it never fully stops for them, even after the exchange.
Anyway, I've finally been getting back into working out after a long time off. I got the approval to do cardio like two weeks ago, but I never had the motivation to actually do it until last week. Since then I've gone running, played tennis (very poorly), and gone to the gym twice. I'm really going to try to stick to it, I want to get in shape again before my exchange surgery. I want to be at my goal by then. I don't really have a specific goal in terms of weight loss (I don't even know how much I weigh or how much that is affected by the super heavy feeling expander I have), I just want to feel healthy and fit. I figure if I say all this to the public then I'm more likely to actually stick to it. I'm thinking about starting to go to spin class regularly again, those things are killer! Wish me luck :)
Okay I should go, I have two tests next week. Conveniently both on the same day (Wednesday), one for microbio and one for a&p. So I should really study. Adios for now :)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Almost done expanding!
I've been terrible at updating this, I'm sorry about that. I've been keeping pretty busy which is good for me, but it makes me less inclined to post blogs regularly. My bad ;)
I've had expansions # 4 and 5! I'm up to 275, I think I only have a couple more to go. I'm about even right now, a little bigger on the fake side, but all the volume is up high so it looks weird haha. When I go in for the exchange my PS is going to make it so the implant sits lower and I'll look normal. And it won't be a rock hard expander, so yay. I'm really looking forward to the exchange. Unfortunately I have to wait until after the semester is over, because I'll have to take another two weeks off. I think I might have mentioned this in my last blog lol. My mind is all over the place.
My 4th expansion was fine, but after my 5th expansion I had some pain which is weird for me. Luckily it's subsided since then. I don't have a whole lot to complain about expander-wise, but I won't be sad when I say goodbye to it haha. I think I'll be ready for my new silicone friend. That sounded so corny. I'm trying to decide if it's too corny for me to say, but I'm thinking no. I'm such a dork.
Aside from that, I've been really busy with school and really enjoying my classes. Really. I like all of them. My psychology class is full of just-graduated-from-high-school freshmen, and most of them are really immature, but I enjoy the material. Microbio is so much fun! Especially the lab. And anatomy and physiology is as interesting as last semester, although it's a lot more work this time around. I think I'll be almost done with nursing pre-reqs after this semester, then I still want to take that EMT class so I can get some much needed clinical experience before I apply to nursing school. It's so exciting!
Anyway, I'm off to hopefully finish my psychology homework before American Idol starts, wish me luck with that. Ta ta for now. :)
Wait, before I go. I just happened to log into my breastcancer.org account, which I hadn't done for a while, and I had a message from someone else who was diagnosed with fibromatosis in the breast at around the same time I was. This is the first person I have talked to with the same thing as me! As sad of a coincidence as it is, it is really cool to have someone else who really knows what I'm going through with this super rare tumor. That was a nice thing to see. I really hope that she doesn't have to have a mastectomy like I did, but she's already had 3 lumpectomies and is looking into more surgeries. Even though some don't consider this a cancer, I don't see how you can consider it benign.
Okay, I'm really going to sign off now. Adios amigos.
I've had expansions # 4 and 5! I'm up to 275, I think I only have a couple more to go. I'm about even right now, a little bigger on the fake side, but all the volume is up high so it looks weird haha. When I go in for the exchange my PS is going to make it so the implant sits lower and I'll look normal. And it won't be a rock hard expander, so yay. I'm really looking forward to the exchange. Unfortunately I have to wait until after the semester is over, because I'll have to take another two weeks off. I think I might have mentioned this in my last blog lol. My mind is all over the place.
My 4th expansion was fine, but after my 5th expansion I had some pain which is weird for me. Luckily it's subsided since then. I don't have a whole lot to complain about expander-wise, but I won't be sad when I say goodbye to it haha. I think I'll be ready for my new silicone friend. That sounded so corny. I'm trying to decide if it's too corny for me to say, but I'm thinking no. I'm such a dork.
Aside from that, I've been really busy with school and really enjoying my classes. Really. I like all of them. My psychology class is full of just-graduated-from-high-school freshmen, and most of them are really immature, but I enjoy the material. Microbio is so much fun! Especially the lab. And anatomy and physiology is as interesting as last semester, although it's a lot more work this time around. I think I'll be almost done with nursing pre-reqs after this semester, then I still want to take that EMT class so I can get some much needed clinical experience before I apply to nursing school. It's so exciting!
Anyway, I'm off to hopefully finish my psychology homework before American Idol starts, wish me luck with that. Ta ta for now. :)
Wait, before I go. I just happened to log into my breastcancer.org account, which I hadn't done for a while, and I had a message from someone else who was diagnosed with fibromatosis in the breast at around the same time I was. This is the first person I have talked to with the same thing as me! As sad of a coincidence as it is, it is really cool to have someone else who really knows what I'm going through with this super rare tumor. That was a nice thing to see. I really hope that she doesn't have to have a mastectomy like I did, but she's already had 3 lumpectomies and is looking into more surgeries. Even though some don't consider this a cancer, I don't see how you can consider it benign.
Okay, I'm really going to sign off now. Adios amigos.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
More expansions and stuff
Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been updating!
I had my last drain removed and my second expansion a while ago now, I already forget when it was. I have it written down somewhere I think but I'm too lazy to look. My mom couldn't come with me to that appointment, but I was lucky to have my friends Marissa and Vi go with me instead. The drain removal/second expansion appointment was only a couple days after my first expansion, so my Plastic Surgeon was only able to get in 25 cc, bringing me up to 125.
Yesterday I had my third expansion with another 50 cc, so now I'm at 175! Yay! About halfway there or so. I won't be able to have my exchange surgery until after classes are over, though, because my PS said I'll have to take 2 weeks off for recovery. I was hoping it would be more like my lumpectomy where I could bounce back a couple of days later, but sadly no. Also, the Plastic Surgery/Cosmetic Dermatology department moved to a different area, and I got a little confused trying to find it since there were no signs anywhere, but I found it eventually. It's nice, the rooms are a lot bigger, so the next time I bring an entourage with me to an appointment there will be enough room for everyone.
After my expansion yesterday, I really noticed how much heavier that side is starting to feel. Also I've been having really bad upper back pain all day today, and I think it might have to do with the expander. I really hope that it doesn't get worse the more it gets filled because it's pretty uncomfortable and inconvenient. I took a Motrin but that didn't really help, although it did help a little. It may be about time to take another one.
In other news, the past week has been eventful. I had a great time last weekend wine tasting with my mom and our friend Michele in Sonoma, and school started this week. Originally I wanted to take an EMT class and a couple of other nursing pre-reqs, because being an EMT would be a great way to get some clinical experience (especially since it's virtually impossible to volunteer at a hospital and part of the class involves 72 hours of actual ER/Ambulance work), but I realized that would be too much for me right now. They recommend taking the EMT class with no other classes because it is so intensive. I think I might have been okay, but also the physical demands were worrisome to me. We were going to be doing a lot of lifting in that class - as in, lifting other people - and I'm still not really supposed to lift more than 5 pounds. (I even had to ask someone to carry my microscope to my desk for me in lab today, haha!) I also got into the second part of the Anatomy and Physiology series I have to take, and I wanted to take them back to back, so I ended up dropping the EMT class for now. Instead I'm taking A&P II, Microbio, and Psychology. Three more pre-reqs down, and hopefully I can take the EMT class next semester; it seemed really fun.
Being back in the relatively normal world has been good, but it is reminding me that I am still recovering. Having class every day has been draining more of my energy than I thought it would (possibly because of trouble sleeping with this beloved expander of mine), and having to ask people around me for help with seemingly little things is hard for my stubborn nature. I'm trying to learn to carry my backpack on my left shoulder like my Breast Surgeon suggested, but my instinct is to carry it with the right, and the weight of that does feel like too much after a while. To compensate I have been making sure to wear both straps so the weight is evenly distributed, but I think I might have to invest in a shoulder bag and force myself to wear it on the left side. We shall see.
Okay that's all for now. Adios amigos.
I had my last drain removed and my second expansion a while ago now, I already forget when it was. I have it written down somewhere I think but I'm too lazy to look. My mom couldn't come with me to that appointment, but I was lucky to have my friends Marissa and Vi go with me instead. The drain removal/second expansion appointment was only a couple days after my first expansion, so my Plastic Surgeon was only able to get in 25 cc, bringing me up to 125.
Yesterday I had my third expansion with another 50 cc, so now I'm at 175! Yay! About halfway there or so. I won't be able to have my exchange surgery until after classes are over, though, because my PS said I'll have to take 2 weeks off for recovery. I was hoping it would be more like my lumpectomy where I could bounce back a couple of days later, but sadly no. Also, the Plastic Surgery/Cosmetic Dermatology department moved to a different area, and I got a little confused trying to find it since there were no signs anywhere, but I found it eventually. It's nice, the rooms are a lot bigger, so the next time I bring an entourage with me to an appointment there will be enough room for everyone.
After my expansion yesterday, I really noticed how much heavier that side is starting to feel. Also I've been having really bad upper back pain all day today, and I think it might have to do with the expander. I really hope that it doesn't get worse the more it gets filled because it's pretty uncomfortable and inconvenient. I took a Motrin but that didn't really help, although it did help a little. It may be about time to take another one.
In other news, the past week has been eventful. I had a great time last weekend wine tasting with my mom and our friend Michele in Sonoma, and school started this week. Originally I wanted to take an EMT class and a couple of other nursing pre-reqs, because being an EMT would be a great way to get some clinical experience (especially since it's virtually impossible to volunteer at a hospital and part of the class involves 72 hours of actual ER/Ambulance work), but I realized that would be too much for me right now. They recommend taking the EMT class with no other classes because it is so intensive. I think I might have been okay, but also the physical demands were worrisome to me. We were going to be doing a lot of lifting in that class - as in, lifting other people - and I'm still not really supposed to lift more than 5 pounds. (I even had to ask someone to carry my microscope to my desk for me in lab today, haha!) I also got into the second part of the Anatomy and Physiology series I have to take, and I wanted to take them back to back, so I ended up dropping the EMT class for now. Instead I'm taking A&P II, Microbio, and Psychology. Three more pre-reqs down, and hopefully I can take the EMT class next semester; it seemed really fun.
Being back in the relatively normal world has been good, but it is reminding me that I am still recovering. Having class every day has been draining more of my energy than I thought it would (possibly because of trouble sleeping with this beloved expander of mine), and having to ask people around me for help with seemingly little things is hard for my stubborn nature. I'm trying to learn to carry my backpack on my left shoulder like my Breast Surgeon suggested, but my instinct is to carry it with the right, and the weight of that does feel like too much after a while. To compensate I have been making sure to wear both straps so the weight is evenly distributed, but I think I might have to invest in a shoulder bag and force myself to wear it on the left side. We shall see.
Okay that's all for now. Adios amigos.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Had my first expansion!
Yesterday I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon, and I almost tried to postpone it since I knew my drain wouldn't be removed. It wasn't, because it was still over 30 ml every 24 hours, but I did have my first expansion! That was unexpected, I didn't think that process was going to start until after my drain was removed. I was a little scared, especially when he said the needle would go through the muscle and that hurts for some patients. I was lucky, though, because for me it didn't hurt at all. I did feel it go through the muscle, but it wasn't painful. I could feel myself stretch as he put in saline, but it wasn't too uncomfortable. I was a little sore for the rest of the day, but nothing unbearable.
This morning when I woke up I was in more pain than usual, but it got better after I took a Motrin. I think it was because my muscle is still getting used to accommodating a bigger implant. He put in 50 cc when he placed the tissue expander after my mastectomy, and he put in 50 cc yesterday, so now I'm up to 100! [Side note, apparently 1 cc = 1 ml. I learned that today, or maybe yesterday.] Still smaller than the other side, but that's okay. The expander looks pretty ridiculous, but it'll start to look better the more it gets filled. I've heard everything is a lot better after the exchange surgery - much more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing. I'm looking forward to that.
Yesterday morning (around 5am) I woke up in excruciating pain. It was so weird, I had been feeling very little pain lately and had been off the narcotics for about a week. It felt almost as bad as it did right after my surgery. I checked to make sure everything looked okay, and it did. I guess it was just because I had gone on and on about how good I felt that my body decided to remind me that I did just have a major surgery. I was able to get myself up and I took two of my pain pills, and finally I was able to fall back asleep. Thankfully that pain hasn't returned.
Earlier today I started feeling pretty nauseous, I'm not sure what that was about. I took a Zofran (anti-nausea pill) and took a nap and felt a lot better when I woke up. I went out to dinner with Chris and Zahra, that was nice. Now I'm being good and resting :) My drain outputs have been a lot lower, I think I might even be able to have my drain removed tomorrow! We shall see.
I know that I have basically no sensation in my right breast, but today I finally made the realization that I can't feel temperature changes. My hands were freezing and I touched it and couldn't feel it at all. It's such a bizarre feeling (err, lack thereof, lol.) It's kind of cool in a way.
I feel like there was something else I wanted to say, but I forget what it was. I don't think this is what it was, but also, I got in trouble for not consistently taking my antibiotics 4x a day like I'm supposed to. I do sometimes, but other times I had been taking it 3x a day. I figured as long as I finished the whole bottle (60 pills!) eventually that it would be okay. Of course not, I should have known there is a reason for prescribing the dosage that they do. Silly me. So now I have to take another week's worth of antibiotics on top of the rest of the first bottle that I have to finish. That's 28 extra pills! I'm being diligent now, I don't want to get in trouble again and I don't want to get an infection from this drain. That would suck.
Also, I realized that I never followed up on here about the biopsy I had on my left breast before my mastectomy. I know I posted it on Facebook, and so did my mom, so most of you already know, but in case you missed it: that turned out to be a Fibroadenoma as suspected. So, completely benign, it doesn't have to be removed or anything. Yay :)
Okay, that's all for now. Whenever I put a heart on here it posts with all this weird stuff behind it, but oh well. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
This morning when I woke up I was in more pain than usual, but it got better after I took a Motrin. I think it was because my muscle is still getting used to accommodating a bigger implant. He put in 50 cc when he placed the tissue expander after my mastectomy, and he put in 50 cc yesterday, so now I'm up to 100! [Side note, apparently 1 cc = 1 ml. I learned that today, or maybe yesterday.] Still smaller than the other side, but that's okay. The expander looks pretty ridiculous, but it'll start to look better the more it gets filled. I've heard everything is a lot better after the exchange surgery - much more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing. I'm looking forward to that.
Yesterday morning (around 5am) I woke up in excruciating pain. It was so weird, I had been feeling very little pain lately and had been off the narcotics for about a week. It felt almost as bad as it did right after my surgery. I checked to make sure everything looked okay, and it did. I guess it was just because I had gone on and on about how good I felt that my body decided to remind me that I did just have a major surgery. I was able to get myself up and I took two of my pain pills, and finally I was able to fall back asleep. Thankfully that pain hasn't returned.
Earlier today I started feeling pretty nauseous, I'm not sure what that was about. I took a Zofran (anti-nausea pill) and took a nap and felt a lot better when I woke up. I went out to dinner with Chris and Zahra, that was nice. Now I'm being good and resting :) My drain outputs have been a lot lower, I think I might even be able to have my drain removed tomorrow! We shall see.
I know that I have basically no sensation in my right breast, but today I finally made the realization that I can't feel temperature changes. My hands were freezing and I touched it and couldn't feel it at all. It's such a bizarre feeling (err, lack thereof, lol.) It's kind of cool in a way.
I feel like there was something else I wanted to say, but I forget what it was. I don't think this is what it was, but also, I got in trouble for not consistently taking my antibiotics 4x a day like I'm supposed to. I do sometimes, but other times I had been taking it 3x a day. I figured as long as I finished the whole bottle (60 pills!) eventually that it would be okay. Of course not, I should have known there is a reason for prescribing the dosage that they do. Silly me. So now I have to take another week's worth of antibiotics on top of the rest of the first bottle that I have to finish. That's 28 extra pills! I'm being diligent now, I don't want to get in trouble again and I don't want to get an infection from this drain. That would suck.
Also, I realized that I never followed up on here about the biopsy I had on my left breast before my mastectomy. I know I posted it on Facebook, and so did my mom, so most of you already know, but in case you missed it: that turned out to be a Fibroadenoma as suspected. So, completely benign, it doesn't have to be removed or anything. Yay :)
Okay, that's all for now. Whenever I put a heart on here it posts with all this weird stuff behind it, but oh well. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
drains are annoying
I'll tell you, one drain is a lot better than two. Having no drains is what would be ideal. I have an appointment tomorrow with my plastic surgeon, but he said he wants to keep the drain in until it is producing less than 30 ml every 24 hours. Unfortunately, I'm still a little bit over 30, so I have a sad feeling that I won't have my drain removed tomorrow. We shall see. It's not that big of a deal, but the drain is starting to get uncomfortable and it's slightly annoying to always have it there.
I am feeling a lot better, sometimes it seems remarkable that my surgery was only a week and a half ago. I was supposed to be practically on bed rest for the first two weeks, but I have been pretty active lately. I went out to dinner with Justin and Marissa tonight, I'm pretty sure Dr. Lin would have killed me if he saw me. Justin and I went to see Les Mis on Sunday, and my mom and I went to see This is 40 yesterday. This is probably why my drain output has been higher than I would like it to be. Lisa warned me of this, she said it would be frustrating because I would start to feel better and want to do things but would be unable to. At the time I thought, "nah, I don't think I'll have a problem being lazy and sitting on the couch for two weeks." She was right though, and I haven't been sitting around as much as I should. I'm afraid Dr. Lin will tell me to stop being so active - and I was going to ask him if I could start working out anytime soon. I have a feeling that's going to be a no.
Right now I'm in my red silk jammies that my mom got me for Christmas, and I feel pretty sharp. Having all these button up tops has been immensely helpful (thanks Mom, Mom-mom, and Donna for my Christmas presents). I thought by now I would be able to lift my arms enough to put on a tee shirt, but I was wrong. I learned that the hard way earlier today when I tried and failed. I still can't lift my right arm much higher than shoulder height, so I don't know why I thought that was going to end well for me. I'm getting a little too ambitious.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll let you all know how my appointment goes tomorrow, fingers crossed that I'll have my drain removed.
I am feeling a lot better, sometimes it seems remarkable that my surgery was only a week and a half ago. I was supposed to be practically on bed rest for the first two weeks, but I have been pretty active lately. I went out to dinner with Justin and Marissa tonight, I'm pretty sure Dr. Lin would have killed me if he saw me. Justin and I went to see Les Mis on Sunday, and my mom and I went to see This is 40 yesterday. This is probably why my drain output has been higher than I would like it to be. Lisa warned me of this, she said it would be frustrating because I would start to feel better and want to do things but would be unable to. At the time I thought, "nah, I don't think I'll have a problem being lazy and sitting on the couch for two weeks." She was right though, and I haven't been sitting around as much as I should. I'm afraid Dr. Lin will tell me to stop being so active - and I was going to ask him if I could start working out anytime soon. I have a feeling that's going to be a no.
Right now I'm in my red silk jammies that my mom got me for Christmas, and I feel pretty sharp. Having all these button up tops has been immensely helpful (thanks Mom, Mom-mom, and Donna for my Christmas presents). I thought by now I would be able to lift my arms enough to put on a tee shirt, but I was wrong. I learned that the hard way earlier today when I tried and failed. I still can't lift my right arm much higher than shoulder height, so I don't know why I thought that was going to end well for me. I'm getting a little too ambitious.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll let you all know how my appointment goes tomorrow, fingers crossed that I'll have my drain removed.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year!
It's 2013! Which everyone knows, but still. I haven't made any resolutions yet, maybe I'll get on that. Haha.
So it's been 5 days since my surgery, and I'm feeling pretty good. I've been really fortunate to have Justin here to take care of me. He had to leave today :( but my family has been great too. I've been getting lots of visitors which is nice, it's good to have interaction with the real world. For the most part I've been sleeping/lying on the couch.
The first part of my recovery was really hard, but it's been getting better every day. When I woke up from my surgery I was really nauseous and uncomfortable. It was nothing like when I woke up from my lumpectomy. I was also really really thirsty, I kept asking for water but they told me it would make my nausea worse, and gave me ice chips instead. I wanted to see my family, but they told me I had to wait until I could be moved to my room, and that couldn't be done until they finished cleaning the room. (Seemed weird to me, but I was really out of it so I just went along with it.) I later found out that they told my parents that I couldn't be moved because I was too nauseous, and that they couldn't come see me for that reason. That doesn't make sense, but it's okay, I finally got to see them after my ~hour in recovery. As they were wheeling me to the elevator to go up to my room, I saw my Mom standing in the hallway waiting for me. I was so happy to see her! [Side note, I can feel my last pain pill really starting to kick in, so sorry if the rest of this blog isn't very eloquently written.] Then after we got to my room, I saw my Dad, Jeffrey, Justin, and my snooksipoo Marissa! At some point Chris and Zahra came and brought me flowers. Justin stayed overnight with me, and even though I was in a double room with no other patient, they didn't let him sleep in the other bed. The nurse said he had to leave it open in case someone else was admitted (and of course no one was, I was in the emptier section of the hospital). They also didn't let him sleep in the same bed with me. Poor guy ended up sleeping on the floor :( It was a rough night, the nausea was really worse than the pain. The next morning was better, I finally got upgraded to eating solid food and had eggs and potatoes (taters) for breakfast.
Later that morning I got discharged from the hospital and finally got to go home. There have been a few rough patches - almost passing out, fevers, more nausea, stuff like that - but like I said, better every day.
Yesterday I finally got my hair washed and dried by the lovely Tina; she opened the salon just for me. After that, I went and got one of my 2 drains removed. That little trip was my first big outing since my return from the hospital, and it was exhausting! I was starting to get pretty tired while sitting in the chair getting my hair done, and by the time I was in the waiting room at Kaiser I was falling asleep next to my mom.
Today has been my best day so far, I've been awake all day and haven't been in too much pain. I am about ready to close my eyes and rest for a little bit, so that's all for now. Happy New Year everyone! <3 p="p">
So it's been 5 days since my surgery, and I'm feeling pretty good. I've been really fortunate to have Justin here to take care of me. He had to leave today :( but my family has been great too. I've been getting lots of visitors which is nice, it's good to have interaction with the real world. For the most part I've been sleeping/lying on the couch.
The first part of my recovery was really hard, but it's been getting better every day. When I woke up from my surgery I was really nauseous and uncomfortable. It was nothing like when I woke up from my lumpectomy. I was also really really thirsty, I kept asking for water but they told me it would make my nausea worse, and gave me ice chips instead. I wanted to see my family, but they told me I had to wait until I could be moved to my room, and that couldn't be done until they finished cleaning the room. (Seemed weird to me, but I was really out of it so I just went along with it.) I later found out that they told my parents that I couldn't be moved because I was too nauseous, and that they couldn't come see me for that reason. That doesn't make sense, but it's okay, I finally got to see them after my ~hour in recovery. As they were wheeling me to the elevator to go up to my room, I saw my Mom standing in the hallway waiting for me. I was so happy to see her! [Side note, I can feel my last pain pill really starting to kick in, so sorry if the rest of this blog isn't very eloquently written.] Then after we got to my room, I saw my Dad, Jeffrey, Justin, and my snooksipoo Marissa! At some point Chris and Zahra came and brought me flowers. Justin stayed overnight with me, and even though I was in a double room with no other patient, they didn't let him sleep in the other bed. The nurse said he had to leave it open in case someone else was admitted (and of course no one was, I was in the emptier section of the hospital). They also didn't let him sleep in the same bed with me. Poor guy ended up sleeping on the floor :( It was a rough night, the nausea was really worse than the pain. The next morning was better, I finally got upgraded to eating solid food and had eggs and potatoes (taters) for breakfast.
Later that morning I got discharged from the hospital and finally got to go home. There have been a few rough patches - almost passing out, fevers, more nausea, stuff like that - but like I said, better every day.
Yesterday I finally got my hair washed and dried by the lovely Tina; she opened the salon just for me. After that, I went and got one of my 2 drains removed. That little trip was my first big outing since my return from the hospital, and it was exhausting! I was starting to get pretty tired while sitting in the chair getting my hair done, and by the time I was in the waiting room at Kaiser I was falling asleep next to my mom.
Today has been my best day so far, I've been awake all day and haven't been in too much pain. I am about ready to close my eyes and rest for a little bit, so that's all for now. Happy New Year everyone! <3 p="p">
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